Heaven
by drotuno
Summary: Something is different about Edward, something that started in Italy, and he can't seem to get it under control. Canon, New Moon, AU, Edward POV, Rated M. For JenRar for her birthday
1. Chapter 1

**A/N… This is for Jenny (JenRar) for her birthday, which was yesterday, but I was running behind with it.**

 **WARNING: This is completely un-beta'd and only half pre-read. LOL So all mistakes, comma drama, and general tense fuck-ups are mine. And I apologize in advance. If Jenny feels the OCD need to go in and clean up, then she's welcome to do so. ;) Love you, Jenny. I hope you had a fantastic birthday.**

 **This started out as one thing, but slowly, it morphed into another thing, and finally, Edward just took over and wrote it himself. It started as a one-shot, but it took on a life of its own. It really was just a plot bunny I'd been toying with, and I'd considered contests and such, but really…this is fanfic at its best, which is the re-imagining of a fictional situation. ;) I** _ **love**_ **canon vamp, so I couldn't resist playing with NM again.**

 ****This isn't Angelward or even Masen Manorward…it's not even Fate Interrupted Edward. This is all on its own. I just wanted to let you know.****

 **SUMMARY: Something is different about Edward, something that started in Italy, and he can't seem to get it under control. Canon, New Moon, AU, Edward POV, Rated M. For JenRar for her birthday**

 **There are 5 short chapters, and 2 will post today, 2 tomorrow, and the last one will go up Wednesday. This is the only A/N I'll write until the last chapter goes up.**

 **~ooo~Heaven~ooo~**

 **Edward**

 _Please! Please! Kill me, kill me! Not him._

 _You know_ nothing _about his soul…_

These words echoed repeatedly in my head as we left Aro, Marcus, and Caius behind in the throne room. Of all the things I'd witnessed in my long years, those words carried more weight, more emotion than any I'd ever heard. For Bella to so selflessly offer herself up to the Volturi to save me was stupid and brave and everything I loved about her all rolled into one act. I wanted to shake her, but I wanted to kiss her until she could barely breathe. I wanted to inhale the scent of her – all the scents that swirled together to make up Bella as a whole; it was her blood, her skin, her hair. All of it was so much more potent after having been away from it for months.

Gone was the monster that wished to drain her. He no longer existed. Only the monster that had mated with her remained.

Mate.

I'd heard the word in Aro's thoughts. I'd seen our unbreakable connection through Marcus's mind. I'd never wanted to admit it, but now that I had, I couldn't turn it off. I couldn't be bothered to worry about the impropriety that came with it all. I wanted her. She'd been mine, and I needed to make her mine again. I just didn't know if she'd let me.

"Do not leave until dark."

I nodded once to Demetri, trying my damnedest to ignore Alice's silent seething, but he'd already spun away to join the massacre going on in the throne room. It was the frantic and erratic heartbeat that I couldn't ignore if I'd tried. The presence of its sputtering meant Bella wasn't dead, that she was alive, breathing, and slowly shaking apart beneath my light touch to her shoulder.

Guiding Bella to the chair farthest away from the human, Gianna, who was manning the front desk, I carefully cupped Bella's face after pulling her gently to my lap.

"Shh, Bella. Deep breaths."

Where once I'd been able to see love and happiness, her brown eyes now held skepticism and pain. Tears welled up, and I quickly captured them, because to let them fall, would break me right there in the lobby of that godforsaken building.

"You look so tired, love," I sighed, shaking my head as guilt descended over me, but her tentative touch trailing lightly beneath my eyes, made my skin flare into a roaring flame. When she mentioned I was thirsty, I shook my head, feeling more guilt for another lie, but my thirst was inconsequential.

" _You_ are an idiot," Alice hissed low enough that Bella and the receptionist couldn't hear with human ears. "She doesn't believe a damn word you say right now."

My head snapped around to face her, a growl building low, but I could see flashes of visions that she'd been withholding from me. My growl stopped as quickly as it had started, and my brow furrowed at the future Bella's silent decisions were causing Alice to see.

"She's letting _you_ go this time, you ass!" Alice's hands balled up into fists as Bella curled closer to me, her grip harsh and frantic. "She's allowing you to leave again. I should… You need… I can't with you right now…"

I'd have laughed at Alice's inability to articulate if the subject matter had been anything other than my Bella, but it wasn't. More visions filtered through, despite Alice trying to cover them up with other thoughts. Bella's tear-stained face as she turned from me to find another way home from Sea-Tac; Bella's slow, meticulous, empty-eyed movements through Forks High School all alone; Bella telling me she simply needed to show she was alive, that I was free to do whatever I wished.

My gasp was soft, but I glanced between my sister and the only person on this entire planet that kept me alive.

"You _lied_ to her!?" Alice continued, just barely audible in the large lobby. "You took every fear she had and threw it in her face. She _should_ let you go. I hope to God she makes you work for it. You're a lot of things, Edward Cullen, but that… _that_ was low."

She gazed around the lobby for a moment, and I held Bella closer on my lap, reveling in the heat of her breath on the skin of my neck. She was awake, just barely, but she was completely oblivious to the almost inaudible ranting of my sister.

"Edward, I've told you repeatedly that things would work out between you and Bella, and Jasper owes you his own apologies for that night, but I'm telling you… Using a teenage girl's fears against her just might be the lowest thing I've ever heard." Her nostrils flared as she faced me again. "Who does that to someone they love!?"

My sister shook with her rage. "You could've gotten all of us killed with this stunt you pulled, though I'll be having a long, loud talk with Rosalie when we get home for telling you the way that she did. And you're lucky Bella came with me. Had she not, you wouldn't be here." She pointed a deadly, shaking finger my way. "You'd better figure out how to fix it. She's my sister, she's the key to our family, and she's the reason you're still alive. I'm not leaving her again, and I'm pretty s ure you aren't either. But brother, she's lost more than just faith while you were gone."

"How?" I asked, unable to stop myself from touching Bella's hair, the skin of her arms, the fingers clinging to the wretched red robe the Volturi had given me to cover up my bare torso. And suddenly, I felt utterly naked, in spite of the robe, because my actions had been embarrassing and asinine. "How do I fix it, Alice?"

My question caught her off guard, and again, her visions were so vivid that they could have been my own colorful fantasies. They were wants and needs that I'd never allowed outside of my own bedroom or alone hunting. They were the deepest desires of a vampire for his mate, a man for a woman, and a husband for his wife. I wanted them all. I'd always wanted them, but I'd never trusted myself to give in, to articulate them, to even test them. Now the sight of them, the mere possibility that they could be the future made me feel like an animal in heat.

"She deserves better, Alice," I breathed into the top of Bella's head.

"Look at her," she growled through gritted teeth. "Does she look better off to you?" She shook her head slowly. "You both look like hell warmed over. I'd say this didn't exactly work the way you had wanted it to work, and now, you're not the only one after her heart."

The face of Jacob Black entered her thoughts, his canine stench, his smiling face, and his protectiveness of Bella that Alice had witnessed firsthand. The descendant of Ephraim Black was now a volatile wolf. The growl I let loose couldn't be stopped if I tried, and Bella sat up quickly, looking around with wide, scared eyes.

"I'm sorry, sweetheart," I soothed her, brushing her hair from her face as it took all I had to calm my instinct to claim her, mark her as mine, due to the mere idea of that dog. "I didn't mean to frighten you."

"Wh-What's wrong, Edward?" she whispered, glancing up as Gianna made her way to us.

"You may leave the castle now," she stated.

Gently, I set Bella on her feet, but her eyes stayed on Gianna for a moment before we turned to exit out of the Volturi's building.

"She knows," Bella muttered, glancing up at me when Alice slipped quickly and silently away to get us a means of transportation.

"Yes."

"Is that what she wants?" she asked, her brow furrowing

"It is, love. She's hoping they decide to keep her."

A short, light humorless laugh huffed out of Bella, but she merely nodded. She said nothing more on the subject. Actually, Bella remained eerily quiet throughout the entire journey out of Volterra and into Florence, where Alice stopped to get me some acceptable clothes and Bella changed into something fresher.

It was at the airport when I finally heard her voice again. Alice was browsing through a magazine stand across the way, warning me I needed to brace myself for questions. Bella's knees were pulled up, with her arms wrapped around them, and she turned to face me, resting her cheek on top.

"Why are you getting on the plane with us?" she asked.

I knew every expression my Bella had. I knew the sounds of her heart with every emotion. That question was posed with complete and total confusion.

Taking a deep breath, I glanced around the waiting area at the gate. We were, for the most part, alone in a corner by the window. I wasn't sure I wanted to have this conversation in such a public place, but I'd give her anything. I owed her everything.

Turning in my seat, I reached up to trail my fingers lightly down the side of her beautiful face. She was too thin, exhausted, and her heart was beating too fast for my liking. The latter was most likely due to the large cup of coffee she'd been sipping since we'd checked in at the gate.

"Bella, I…" I shook my head slowly. "I owe you the biggest of apologies. I owe you more than that. I owe you my life. As if it didn't already belong to you…" I muttered the last part, but she heard me.

"I don't… I'm confused, Edward. You said—"

"Everything I said to you was a lie, Bella," I interrupted, picking up her hand and kissing her fingers. "Every word I uttered in the woods that day was a black, blasphemous lie. I thought I could give you a chance to live. Really live, love. I thought if I removed my family and all the danger that surrounded you because of us, then you could—"

"Could what? Move on? Seriously?!"

"I thought you would. I didn't…" I sighed deeply, begging her with my eyes to understand my love for her was endless, boundless, and if need be, selfless. "I didn't know, Bella. I didn't understand all of this. I'm not perfect. I never was, and I never will be."

She narrowed her eyes at me, shaking her head slowly. "I trusted you with my life, my heart, but you've had one foot out the damn door since Phoenix."

"No, Bella, I swear…"

"Stop lying to me!" she hissed, her eyes blazing with the fire I'd missed so damned badly. "Just stop it! Everything about you changed after the ballet studio, and you know it. So what's different now? I'm alive, Edward. No more guilt. I didn't jump off a cliff to kill myself, I promise." She dropped her feet to the floor, turning to face me. "Let explain something. _You_ were the one person I _could_ trust. When you left, it didn't keep me safe."

"I'm well aware of Jacob Black, Bella."

She huffed an incredulous laugh, but my girl was mad. "I'm sure you are, with your all-knowing sister, but did you know about Laurent?"

My eyes widened, and I shook my head.

"Right, I ran into him in _our meadow_ , Edward. The one place I thought I could find peace, where I thought I could breathe. He's now tainted that perfectly beautiful place, because he was there on Victoria's order to kill me. How's that for removing the threats, hmm? No, the only thing you did by leaving – by lying, so you say – is proving that when things get hard, Edward Cullen runs for the hills."

I was on my knees in front of her before she could spin away from me. "No, Bella. Please." When she turned her face away, I tilted it back with my fingers beneath her chin. "Please, let me earn your trust back. I'll… I've… Something's different." I tapped my chest, my brow furrowing at the change I could feel coursing through me. "I'll never lie to you again. I want you. I always have; I just didn't think I deserved you."

"Edward, I'll never be perfectly safe. It's never gonna happen, so if you're just going to bolt the next _paper cut_ or the next time some foul beast comes after me, then pick a different plane. I can't do it. I was willing to figure us out together. You thought you knew better."

"I don't. I don't know anything other than I love you. Outside of that, I'm lost, love. We're meant to be together, you and me. And I'll spend the rest of my life proving it to you, erasing the lies I spewed that day, and earning your trust back."

"You hurt me."

"I know, and I'm sorry."

"I missed you _so much_ ," she said, her voice cracking on the last word, and I gathered her into my arms and kept her on my lap as I took my seat back.

When she buried her face into my neck, I told her everything. "I don't have words for how much I missed you, Bella. I had to kill a part of myself to let you go. I'll never do it again. I'll never lie to you again, either. Anything you ask of me is yours." I dropped kiss after kiss to the top of her head, and each one was like flames licking at my lips. "I can't pick a different plane, sweetheart. I was making my way back to you when I heard…when I thought you were…" I swallowed thickly against the pain that threatened to consume me. "Where you go, I go. Until you send me away, love."

"Please don't promise, Edward."

I smiled sadly against her forehead, savoring the feel of her body pressed against mine – something I'd never allowed before, but things had changed. I was different, and I'd been thoroughly proven wrong. I thought Bella would move on, but seeing Alice's visions, seeing the connection through Marcus, and hearing the word mate… All of it had changed me. I'd thought she was dead, but I could feel her heartbeat thump heavily against my chest as if it were my own.

"Time. I'll prove it over time, Bella," I whispered against her skin, and she clung to me a bit tighter. Her forgiveness and love and trust meant more to me than anything else.

"She still doesn't believe you," Alice spoke low as she took a seat across from us. "You can't go back to the way it was."

"I know."

"No, I don't think you do, Edward," she hissed, barely controlling her anger toward me. "You can't _be_ human, and she doesn't want you to be. You need to see that she accepts you for who and what you are. You also can't control it all this time around. And you need to do this without me. I let you see too much already. You have to do this alone." She shook her head slowly as her mind flicked through every magazine she'd just read at the stand just a few minutes ago. A small, slightly evil smile curled up the corners of her mouth. "Though, I have faith in you."

I snorted into a light laugh. "Thanks."

"Mmhm," she hummed lightly. "However, brace yourself for Charlie. He may shoot you."

 **~ooo~Heaven~ooo~**


	2. Chapter 2

**Edward**

Alice had been right on one thing; Charlie had considered shooting me when I showed up at the door with a sleepy Bella in my arms. The only thing that had stopped him was Bella's pleading for him to be mad at her, not me. He'd barely allowed me to deposit his daughter onto her bed, with a quick whisper in her ear that I'd be back when she'd panicked, gripping my shirt fiercely. I was back through her window after a quick hunt, staying silent due to Charlie still being awake.

He'd stomped around the house, muttering to himself, though his thoughts were muddy. He honestly wasn't sure what he felt about Bella running off for three days. However, he had calmed down minutely after Carlisle had called him, explaining that Bella's actions were heroic and selfless. Now his snores were heavy and thick from his bedroom down the hall.

She was grounded for the rest of her life, however.

My eyes drifted around Bella's bedroom, noting slight changes in scent. Her half-full laundry basket was emanating the stench of dog. My heart cracked at the thought of the boy from the reservation. Despite the many times I'd told Bella I loved her on the long flights home, she had not said it back. And her temper had remained quick and sharp when she hadn't been asleep on my shoulder.

Bella's heartbeat changed as she rolled over, her beautiful, smooth leg kicking out from beneath the covers. My eyes absorbed every inch of skin, and the urge to touch was almost overwhelming. She no idea just how beautiful she was, and not just beautiful but alluring and unbelievably sexy. She didn't know I saw her that way, because I'd never told her – something I ached to rectify.

"Edward," she breathed, and I got up from the rocking chair in the corner of her room to kneel beside her bed.

"I'm here, love," I whispered back, not knowing if she heard me or not, but my light touch to push away her hair from her face caused her heart to slow, settle down just slightly. "I'm never, _ever_ leaving you again. Not until you ask it of me, and even then, I can't promise I won't watch over you from a distance, my Bella. I can't stop that." I vowed these same things on the plane from Italy back to the States and then from Atlanta to Sea-Tac. I'd tell her every day if she needed to hear them, and even if she didn't.

She shifted again, exposing more leg, a bit of shoulder, and a few inches of her torso as her shirt had ridden up.

"You're so beautiful, love," I told her in awe, shaking my head slowly to stop the thoughts of touching, the thoughts of what my skin on hers would truly feel like when or if she ever allowed me the honor. "God, I'm a damned idiot," I muttered to myself. "I should've come to you with my fears, not shouldered it all. I should've given you space after your birthday, not panicked. To think that I left you _literally_ to the wolves, I just… I'll never apologize enough. If it takes the rest of my existence, I'll do my best to make it up to you."

I didn't stop talking, even when I knew the sound of Bella's breathing had changed, when her heart sped up, letting me know she was every bit awake.

"I was so blind, Bella," I said, starting to reach for her leg, but thought better of it. "Blind…and a fool. I thought my long life gave me the advantage, but it doesn't. I thought my many times in high school hearing just how quickly a girl falls in and out of love made me an expert. I'm not. I…" I kept my gaze on her fingers, but flinched when they reached for my face. When I met dark and still slightly sleepy eyes, I shook my head. "I… _saw_ things in Italy, love; things that made me feel so foolish. I was arrogant for assuming anything when it came to you. I'm so sorry, Bella. And I know that I'm technically breaking Charlie's rules right now, but I just…I don't know how to be away from you after these realizations. Actually, he said not to come through the door, and I came through the window, but the threat was still the same."

I turned my head to kiss the center of her palm. "I thought you'd died, then I thought I'd died and somehow ended up in heaven when I saw you, and now nothing can stop the knowledge that I was wrong, that everything I'd felt from the second I first saw you was real, was true, and it'll never stop. It'll only get stronger.

"I know I hurt you, _deeply_ , and I know you may need time to figure out what you want, but I'll never be far away from you. I also know that things may have changed while I was gone, that your heart may belong to another, which was my intent, and if that's the case, please know that I…I will…respect whatever choice you make." I stood up, bringing her fingers to my lips as the thought of leaving that room cracked my chest right down the middle. "Get some more sleep, Bella—"

When I started to pull away, she held my hand firmly, sitting up. Every inch of her from her tank top to her sleep-shorts was calling me, but I forced my gaze away and then to only her face.

"Edward, did you mean what you said?" she asked, and when I started to ask her which part, she clarified. "When you said I could ask you anything."

"Yes. Anything."

"Then, what did you see? In Italy." She patted the side of the bed, curling her legs beneath her so I could sit next to her. "You said it changed you. I thought… You said you don't change."

"We can, though it's usually rather difficult. My kind can experience a…life-altering change. It happens usually when something major happens. It happened when I first met you, when I told you I couldn't stay away from you any longer. What I didn't realize is that I never…allowed certain parts of myself to believe it." I huffed a humorless laugh. "Well, believe some of it, anyway."

I opened my mouth to tell her, only to snap it closed again. The word mate could be taken so wrong, but I swore to her I would only ever be honest from this moment on, so I tried to explain it in a way where she'd figure it out.

"This change happened to every member of my family, love." I smiled her way, cupping her face, but taking another deep breath. "Carlisle and Esme, Rosalie and Emmett, even Alice and Jasper. They've all experienced it, but instead of accepting the truth, I buried it deep down." I gazed down at my jeans, picking at lint that didn't exist. "My mind-reading gives me advantages, and being in Italy, I was privy to the thoughts of the Volturi brothers. Marcus, he sees the connections between people – loyalties, if you will – and his vision of me…of _you_ , my Bella…" I shook my head slowly.

I groaned, rubbing my face. "I knew it all along, sweetheart. It just felt _so wrong_. It felt like I was robbing you of a life – a human life – but really, you were meant for me. All along, you were mine. And in Italy, despite how I'd ruined your trust in me, his vision of the two of us... Love, it's so damned strong!"

"Alice and Jasper," she whispered to herself, her brow furrowing. "Carlisle…" She snapped her gaze to mine. "Mate."

"Yes," I whispered back to her, afraid that the word alone would scare her, turn her away, but those expressive dark eyes I'd missed so much lit up.

"I'm not crazy," she breathed, her mouth hanging open. "When it felt like my world had fallen apart, I wasn't losing my mind. I…I… Edward, I couldn't _breathe_ without you, but I thought… It made so much sense that you'd lose interest, that you'd eventually leave. But I couldn't _think_! I thought I was insane. Nothing I did made any of it better. So…I'm not crazy?" She tapped her chest. "For feeling this way?"

"God _no_ , my love! Never," I said urgently, cupping her face. "I'm so sorry I made you feel like that. That's all on me. I told you I'm not perfect. I've made so many mistakes, and I'm sure I'll make more, but—"

"My heart is yours, Edward," she interrupted me, still frowning. "That hasn't changed."

If she actually said the words, I wasn't sure I could control my reaction, but her brow furrowed, and her mouth opened like she needed to say more, so I went perfectly still, holding my breath until she continued. Suddenly, she came at me with one question right after the other.

"You won't leave again?"

"No."

"No matter what happens – my dad's rules, bumps, bruises, paper cuts, meteors, Victoria, Jasper, aliens – all of it at once…"

I cracked a smile at the tornado of destruction she'd painted. "No, Bella."

"And you won't lie to me again?"

"Never, love."

"Because I've been lied to enough. Everyone has all these secrets and rules, and they all think they know what's best for me, but no one wants to know my choices, my wants. You took away everything when you left, saying it would be like you didn't exist, but you…you were everywhere – this room and school and my truck. You took away my best friend and Esme! You took away a family I'd grown to love. My dad, he called Renee to come get me when he couldn't help me anymore. Jacob, he took away our friendship because he started to change… I…I don't care about any of that. I never cared about what you were. I knew. I understood it, and when I didn't, I trusted you to explain it. But…everyone assumed I was some…" She huffed a deep sigh in frustration. Her hands balling up into fists on her lap as she glared down at them. "I've changed, too," she whispered, flinching when she thought it was wrong for her to say it aloud. "I'm tired of being pushed away when things get hard."

"I have so much to make up for, Bella. I'm aware of that." I cupped her face, tilting it up so I could see those eyes that helped me read her so well and weighing each word she'd just thrown at me. My temper sparked anew when I realized that she'd been treated the way she had, and it wasn't only me. I leaned in to drop a long, slow kiss to her forehead. I reined in guilt over my own actions and the instinct to defend her against the other two men she'd mentioned.

When I pulled back, I said, "Tell me what _you_ want, and I'll stop the world to give it to you."

For a split second, I was terrified that it wouldn't be me that she'd want, which would only be fair considering my deceptions. I smelled the salt of her tears before they spilled over onto her cheeks. Gently, I swiped at them with my thumbs, but they didn't stop.

"Bella, please don't cry, just…tell me."

A shuddering deep breath escaped her before one word left her lips.

"You."

Pulling her to me, I wrapped her around me on my lap. Never before had I allowed this kind of contact, this type of position, especially considering what she was wearing and the fact that we were in her bed. Bella buried her face into my neck, and each tear that leaked from her eyes seared my skin before being soaked up by the collar of my shirt. My arms wrapped all the way around her, keeping her body flush to mine.

"You have no idea, my sweet Bella," I sighed, nuzzling her neck with my nose in order to inhale the scent of her. It was a marking of what was _mine_. It was marking that I was hers. And it was all I could do not to press her down into her bed. "I _am_ yours. I always have been, but I was scared, my love."

"I'm not scared of you, Edward Cullen," she mumbled into my neck, and I chuckled low at the old argument.

"You should be," I countered still laughing lightly.

She pulled back, her teeth biting down onto that plump bottom lip I so badly wanted to taste. I kept her anchored to me with one arm wrapped around her waist, but my other hand reached up to wipe away the tears.

"Why? My blood still sings for you?" she taunted, narrowing her eyes at me.

Picking up her hand, I inhaled the thin, pale skin along the inside of her wrist. The heady, floral scent of her assaulted my senses, but there was no urge to bite, no monster fighting to drain her.

"No, Bella. I spent twenty-four hours thinking you were dead. The scent of you wrecks me, because it's more than blood; it's smell of your life." When she placed her hand on the side of my face, I leaned into it, meeting her gaze and relishing her touch. "Bella, I… I wanted to _die_ with the thought that you were gone from this earth."

Her warm, dark eyes studied my face. "I'm your mate," she whispered, and it came out like a revelation.

"Yes."

"You're _mine_ ," she said, practically growling out the last word.

"God, yes," I breathed, willing my body not to react to hearing that from her, but her eyes darkened when she felt it. "I love you. And I realize we have so much more to discuss. Conversations that I used to stop are no longer off limits."

She tilted her head at me. "You're hedging. Say what you're thinking."

"Bella, I…" I swallowed nervously, not a vampire pushing back venom, but a seventeen-year-old boy in love with a beautiful girl, fighting nerves with truths that he'd never admitted before. "The worst lie I told you was that I didn't want you. I do. Can you feel it? Now that… Knowing what you are to me, Bella, I can't stop it. I just _can't_. I'd fought it so hard before, but now I… Love, I _ache_ to feel your lips on mine, feel your touch, hear you laugh again. It's painful, but not as painful as the desperation to hear you say you love me back."

"I never thought you…" she started but she trailed off, looking down between us to where our hips were flush, where her smooth, bare legs were wrapped around my waist. The heat of her was searing me, even through her shorts and my jeans.

"I told you once I am a man, love. What I failed to explain was just what you did to me, what you're doing to me right now," I told her, waiting until she looked back to my face. "Is that what you're waiting for? To hear just how badly I want you, because Bella, saying those things, saying exactly what I dream of doing to you… Some of it isn't so respectful."

Her grin was evil, just as evil as my sister's had been back at the airport. Something about my Bella changed at that declaration. Her whole body rolled over me, her thighs gripping me, and my mouth dropped open at the feel of her sex grinding over my now aching erection. The heat was astounding and phenomenal and glorious. Even more was the feel of her fingers raking through my hair. God, I'd missed that so damned much. The rumbling purr that built in my chest vibrated the two of us on her bed, causing her to gasp, but she placed her hands flat on either side of my face, her fingers lightly tracing my jaw.

"You _have_ changed," she barely uttered aloud. I nodded, knowing my eyes were black with want, knowing my face was showing everything she was doing to me. "Promise me you'll always be honest. Promise me we'll figure us out together. Promise me that the word _mate_ means more than my short human life, Edward."

"All of it, Bella. I swear on my life. On your life. God, I want it. Is it wrong? I don't know, but I do. Maybe it's selfish."

"Maybe I want you selfish. Maybe being _selfless_ is what caused all the trouble, Edward." Her voice was raspy, sexy, and a whole lot of temptation, especially when I could feel the words as she spoke them against my lips. My eyes drifted closed as my hands tried to hold her hips still. "Edward, look at me," she commanded firmly, and my eyes opened to hers. "I missed you. And I never stopped loving you. I love you, Edward. So much."

 **~ooo~Heaven~ooo~**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N… Quick note…this isn't about Edward jumping through a gazillion hoops. This is just for fun and as a gift. ;)**

 **~ooo~Heaven~ooo~**

 **Edward**

I knew I couldn't control my reaction to those words, and instantly, I had her back pressed into the bed, my low, deep purring growl was the only sound in the room, aside from Charlie's snores making their way down the hall. I loomed over her, wanting to claim, to take, and worried all the same that I was scaring her, but her grin was my answer, the slow drag of her tongue across her bottom lip as she prepared to kiss me was exactly the same as before I'd left her – playful and sexy and sweet.

"Oh, Bella…everything's about to change now…"

"Yeah?"

"Yes." I closed my eyes, letting my forehead fall to hers. I needed to slow down, listen for Charlie, and make sure I wasn't putting too much pressure on my Bella. Inhaling slowly, deeply, I relished the scent of her, feeling the warmth of her spread out all over me from everywhere we were touching. "Say it again."

My eyes were still closed, but I smiled at the happy sound of Bella's soft laugh.

"I love you, Edward."

I barely needed to move an inch in order to touch my lips to hers. Bracing myself for the onslaught of feelings that would accompany her lips on mine, I gripped the sheets by her head. A surge of power crawled down my spine the very second we touched. Fighting the knowledge that Bella was my mate for so long had given me a false sense of control. Now there was none. Not a bit of control, which scared me and caused the most possessive and needy feelings to throb through me in the same cadence as Bella's heartbeat.

I took my time, sweeping my lips over hers – top, bottom, each corner. By pure instinct, her hands threaded into my hair and her legs wrapped around my waist. I was completely surrounded by her, and suddenly, I no longer wanted to keep our kisses chaste.

The unbelievably sexy moan that escaped her when I lightly trailed my tongue across her bottom lip echoed out into her bedroom and caused my cock to twitch hard between us. That sound had immediately taken the number one spot on my favorite Bella sounds. My new goal in life was to bring that sound out into the world as much as possible.

Her taste, the flavor of her kisses was sweeter than any blood, and my whole body shifted forward, trying to seek friction between her glorious legs as our mouths connected in a way they never had before. Tongues rolled and danced together, and even though I was careful of my teeth, it was the most amazing experience of my life to date. However, everything was starting to build up in me – the taste of Bella's kisses, the slow awakening of her father down the hall, and the explosive scent of my girl.

"B-Bella," I sputtered, panting heavily. I'd promised her honesty, so she needed to know. "Love, it's… I'm…"

"Too much?"

"Yeah." I squeezed my eyes closed, but they snapped open when she started to push me away.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't move, my love," I told her, smiling a little. "I'm not sorry, but I just…" I exhaled roughly when her scent wrecked me. "My God, Bella, you…your _scent_! I can taste you on my tongue," I admitted, licking my lips as my mind imagined tasting her from the source.

She squirmed again, and I opened my eyes to see her blushing profusely.

"Hey," I whispered, brushing my lips over hers lightly. "Don't you dare be embarrassed. Not about this. Never hide from me." I knew I was about to play with fire, but I shifted my hips slowly, grinding my cock against the thin fabric of her shorts. "Does feeling that embarrass you?"

Her moan was glorious and wanton as her head fell back to the pillows. "Ed-Edward…"

Charlie was slowly but surely starting to wake up, but I gazed down at the beautifully turned-on girl beneath me.

"This, Bella," I whispered, taking advantage of her exposed neck and dropping kisses where her pulse pounded. Trailing my lips up to her ear, I continued. "Bella, this is what you've _always_ done to me. Never doubt it again. Don't you dare think I don't want you. I do. I want you so badly, and that will never, ever change. Human, immortal – whatever and whenever you decide – just know that this will only ever be for you. A hundred years, love, and _you_ did this to me. Only you. So smelling your want for me?" I huffed an incredulous laugh. "The scent _I_ caused, the scent only for _me_? Oh, Bella, it's the… _sexiest_ thing I've ever experienced."

I'm not sure my intention was to cause her to climax, but Bella's whole demeanor started to change – her legs gripped me tighter, her hips met mine over and over, and her fingers pulled at my hair.

"Edward, please…"

"Shh," I hushed against her lips, grinding against her heat and her scent increased tenfold into the room. "Bella, look at me," I urged, keeping my rhythm gentle and steady as she drew closer and closer to an edge I'd never dreamed I'd get her. Her eyes were no longer brown, but just about black, and with the slowly rising sun to a dreary day, her skin was pale. Bella looked immortal and stunning, and my appreciative purring growl couldn't be stopped. "I'll _never_ deny you again. Understand, love? I always want to make you feel this…damn…good."

I couldn't stop the grin that spread across my face when my girl shattered beneath me. Her grip on me, the muscles clenching against my cock on the outside of my jeans, and the look of pure ecstasy on her face caused me to shake as I held back. My arms shook with the need to hold her too close, too tight, so I gripped her sheets instead, flinching a little when the sound of ripping and tearing met my ears when I couldn't hold back my own orgasm any longer. But better the cheap cotton than precious flesh. I really needed to get that under control, because we were definitely doing that again.

Charlie's breathing changed completely, and a sadness swept over me. He was keeping her home for the day.

"Bella?" I whispered, brushing my lips over hers and reaching up to trail my fingers over her sweet face that was now flushed and beautiful with her relaxed demeanor. "I'm…"

Her eyes snapped open, and her heartbeat skipped into a fearful thumping. "Umm…"

"Shh, love. I don't like it, but I have to leave you. Charlie will want to see you today, and he's almost awake. You'll be missing school."

She groaned, her brow furrowing. "Oh, I'm so grounded."

Laughing, I kissed the wrinkle between her eyebrows. "Yes, very much. But he can't stop me. I'll be back after school." When her eyes widened, I smirked at her. "You thought I wouldn't go back?" I shook my head at her teasingly. "Oh, Bella…I'm far, _far_ from being done with you."

I sat up, my eyes raking over every inch of her. "Sweetheart," I groaned at just how badly I wanted to fall back into her arms. "You have to stop me. I…" I shook my head. "I fought it too long, love. I can't…"

"Okay, okay, okay," she urged, sitting up quickly and pressing her lips to mine. "You gotta go to school. I gotta go get grounded," she said, wrinkling her nose adorably when she pulled away. "I don't regret it, though." She tilted her gorgeous head at me, and I noted with pride that her hair was sexily mussed.

"Which part?"

She grinned. "Going to save you, or what we just did."

I chuckled nervously, grimacing at the fact I needed to change clothes. "Thank you. For both," I whispered against her lips before getting up off the bed toward the window.

"Hey, Edward?"

"Yes, Bella?" I chuckled at her mischievous smile, but her eyes were warm.

"You know, it shouldn't shock you that you thought you'd died and gone to heaven. I always assumed you would."

My love for her caused a sting behind my eyes, venomous tears I could no longer shed. I walked to her, slipping my hand into her hair and kissing her deep and slow, but I ended it quickly, because my time was running out.

"If I have you, I don't need heaven. You _are_ my heaven, Bella," I whispered against her lips. "I'll see you after school. Love you."

I was gone before she'd echoed her love back for me, but my smile couldn't be stopped the entire run home.

 **~ooOoo~**

 _If that asshole is here, then where the hell is Bella?_

 _Wonder if they're back together…_

 _Gosh, he looks just has heartbroken as Bella did… I hope they've talked._

That last thought caused my gaze to snap up from my desk to meet the warm gaze of Angela Weber. School had been long and tedious, not to mention completely boring without the presence of Bella. Even worse were the thoughts that surrounded me all day. Curiosity, envy, and fear were all things I was used to seeing from the students around me. However, this time all those things were accompanied by memories of Bella after I'd left.

The euphoric high I'd been on after I'd left a thoroughly satisfied Bella in her room had evaporated as soon as I had reached the Forks High campus. Minds had assaulted me with how lost and broken my Bella had looked when I'd walked away. I had so much for which to make amends. The sight of me caused questions to explode, memories to resurface, and thoughts of protectiveness to swarm around me, each one stinging me with reality like bees.

When the bell rang, signaling the end of the school day, I made my way through the halls and out to the parking lot, where Alice was leaning against my car. My eyes narrowed on my sister as she sang loudly in her head.

"I really wish you'd cut that out," I sighed, unlocking the car.

She laughed, and despite my urgency to get back to Bella, the sound made me smile.

"Nope, not gonna happen." She sat down in the car, looking over at me once I'd gotten behind the wheel. "Bella's story is good. To Charlie, I mean. It's rather perfect, actually. And he has no idea I toted her out of the country. He thinks we ran off to California to save you. She painted you in the best light she could, given the circumstances."

"Is she—"

"Still grounded, yes. Home every day by dark, ten o'clock on the weekend. And you'll owe me that Porche once I go see him, because he'll agree to let her sleep over this weekend. You know, when we're all gone hunting."

Her smile was sweet and still carried that evilness to it she'd had in the airport. When she showed me Charlie's reaction to her, I chuckled low, shaking my head.

"Me, he likes."

Grinning, I started the car. "Yes, well… _You_ didn't break his daughter's heart…nor do you threaten her virtue."

Alice gasped, only to break out into a loud laugh. "Edward Anthony Cullen, you mean that!"

Sighing, I followed the flow of traffic leaving the school, pulling out to head to my house. "That I broke her heart? I did. I do mean that. As for…" I huffed a nervous laugh, glancing over to my sister. "She's… Alice, she's my mate. How can I… How do I get back control of it when it's threatening to overwhelm me?"

"You don't. That's what I tried to tell you from the beginning, Edward!" She growled low, shaking her head. "There's no control when it comes to mating, even less when it comes to your heart. Giving in doesn't make you weak, and you couldn't hurt your mate if you tried. Giving in just means you accept it all – her, your relationship, your _future_ – without question. It's okay to go into something with arms open and eyes closed. You two will learn together."

"This coming from the psychic…"

"Well," she huffed, shrugging a shoulder, "not everyone can be blind."

I rolled my eyes but picked up speed. I didn't even bother to go inside once I'd pulled into the garage. I was into the woods with Alice's laughter following me before the door had slammed closed. I was lucky enough to stumble upon a deer along the way, so I took him down quickly, hid the carcass, and continued on the roundabout way to the woods just outside Bella's house.

Charlie's cruiser wasn't there, and the sounds of Bella in the kitchen met my ears. I was through her bedroom window just as the sound of a car that needed major engine work met my ears. Glancing out the window, I saw a white, beat-up Volkswagen pull into her drive.

Jacob Black didn't even bother to knock; he simply walked right into the house, which set my teeth on edge at not only the rudeness but his familiarity. When I realize he'd walked in the door and I came through the window like a common criminal, my shame threatened to swallow me whole. But his thoughts were clear and angry, and that put me high on alert, stepping silently from her bedroom and out into the hall.

"Where are they?" he asked her without even saying hello.

"Hello to you, too, Jake," she snarked back, and the sound of water running started and stopped quickly. "You know we have to talk, right?"

I heard him inhale deeply, and his laugh was harsh and without humor. "What's there to talk about? That bloodsucker's stench is all over you."

Bella's laugh was beautiful and easy. "I'm sure it is."

Something about the fact that she was covered in my scent, that my marking her this morning with our amazing and loving activities was still all over every inch of her gorgeous body made me puff up and smile with pride as I leaned against the wall of the hallway.

"I can't believe you, Bella," he snapped, and through his thoughts, he was actually lying.

Deep down, he knew she'd never truly be his. Over and over the words "too soon" kept rolling around in his head. He thought with enough time, he'd win her over her heart, but with the look she was giving him and the smell that saturated her skin and clothes, he mentally sagged in defeat.

"Well, get used to disappointment," she said, and my mouth fell open at the fact that she'd used my own words on someone else. On _him_. I wanted to laugh. I wanted to kiss her until she begged me to stop. But most of all, I wanted to see his face.

I stepped just a bit closer to the top of the stairs, and my smile couldn't be stopped as she glared him down. The boy had grown to enormous proportions due to his shape-shifting bloodline. However, his whole body was curling in on itself as he prepared for her temper – his shoulders sagged, his feet shuffled on the kitchen floor, and his gaze dropped to his shoes.

"Jacob, while I appreciate your friendship and all that you helped me through," she started, leaning a hip against the counter, "we will only ever be… _friends_. And I honestly don't appreciate the fact that you just step through my door whenever you feel like it, not to mention I'm still pretty pissed at you for answering the phone… _in my house_ …and you _knew_ who it was. Do you have _any_ idea the chain of events that unfolded because of that phone call?"

"Bella, I—"

"Stop!" she yelled, and she was shaking she was so mad. "You _specifically_ made it sound bad to Edward! Your prejudice and manipulations stop now. I don't want to hear it. He thought I'd died, Jacob! And you didn't bother to let me talk to him. In all actuality, I owe you a thank you. Because of you, Edward made a decision that brought Alice to my door. We were able to get to him in time, but…" Bella shook her head slowly, her eyes closing. "I can't imagine what that sounded like to him."

"Bella, he left you!"

"To save me," she countered calmly. "But I couldn't fathom what I'd do if I'd found out he'd died." Her dark eyes opened and landed on him, practically pinning him to the spot with her ire. "I'd want to die, too," she whispered to herself, and it was all I could do not to rush to her, but I wasn't sure I could maintain my temper with the dog in the house. Her eyes met his. "I'm his mate. That won't change. No more than Sam could stop with Emily."

I'd been aware of the wolf pack's imprinting, but his mind reeled with that comparison.

"Do not compare us to those..." he yelled.

"Do not finish that sentence, Jacob Black."

"Bella, _please_ ," he started to beg, thinking that his pleas would help him. "Please, think about this."

She shook her head. "I have thought about it. And no matter what issues or problems Edward and I have, it's really not any of your business. What did you expect to happen, Jake? You're sixteen, I'm eighteen, and I'm about to graduate in May. What did you think? How did you expect it to work?" When he didn't answer her, she went on. "Edward and I have much to talk about, but it really doesn't concern you. Now, you have to go before Charlie finds out. He's working overnight, but he said he'd be checking on me."

She'd dismissed him, and he knew it. For a brief flash, his mind wondered if he'd ever find his own imprint. He'd hoped and prayed Bella had been his, but he knew now she wasn't, though his stubbornness caused him to open his mouth.

"We would've worked, Bella. We would've been good."

"Until you imprinted, and then what? So no, we wouldn't have, Jacob. I would've always been his. It was always going to be…him."

Jacob's immaturity rose to the surface when he belligerently countered, "I should tell Charlie—"

"Tell Charlie what exactly?" she said softly, slowly, and almost with a threat in her tone. "Tell him all about the mythical creatures that surround him every day? You can't. You have rules to follow, Jake. And thankfully, those include all secrets, even those of your enemy. Get out."

His nostrils flared, and he inhaled sharply as he shook his head back and forth. "You're gonna be one of them, aren't you? If that happens, it'll be war. The treaty will be violated."

She sighed deeply, and not for the first time since I'd met her did I not ache to hear her mind, but she spoke to him like a child.

"Technically, it was _you_ who told _me_ all about the cold ones, buddy. I'd say that meant _you_ broke the treaty first." She tsked dramatically at him and then smiled the most heartbreaking smile I'd ever seen. "Should I ask Carlisle if he plans to go to war over a kid just telling 'old scary stories?' Or…should we leave things even, no matter what I decide to do about my mortality? Because it is… _my decision_."

"You don't know what you're saying."

She balled up a fist, and I was down the stairs and standing between them before her hand collided with his face. Funnily enough, she wasn't surprised to see me as I lifted her to the kitchen counter.

"I'm fucking sick of every man in my life thinking they know what's best for me!" she snapped, pointing at Jacob over my shoulder. She turned those dark, angry eyes my way. "You should've let me hit him."

Chuckling, I shook my head no. "You'd have broken your hand, sweetheart. No sense in all of that. Jacob is well aware that he has no say in your life."

Jake started to shake, his temper quickly escalating at the sight of me, even more at the fact that I was reading his mind, but what was tipping him over the edge was the look on Bella's face. I could see it through his mind, despite the fact that it was gloriously right in front of me. She looked happy. Not just happy but completely blissful, never mind that she was mad. He saw it all.

Spinning his way, I said softly, "Watch yourself, Black. You are not in control of your shifting. You'll destroy this house should you transform, and in doing so, you'll hurt her. Try explaining _that_ to Charlie."

"I'm not the one that wants to kill her!"

I laughed outright. Shaking my head, I turned to Bella and cupped her face. "Her choice. Completely. Believe me, I tried to stop her," I continued, keeping my eyes on sweet brown eyes. "But it almost killed us both. I won't make that mistake again, to presume to know what's best for her. I don't. I can only vow to give her the best life I possibly can. And for as long as she wants me to do so."

Bella's eyes welled up, and I kissed her forehead and then turned to Jacob again. "She told you she was my mate, which means I'm hers, as well. My whole being is drawn to her, pulled to her in order to make sure I'm whatever she needs. Sound familiar?" I asked him, and he merely grimaced. "Right. I can no more walk away from her than a wolf could sever ties with his imprint. Can you say the same?"

He looked away from me, but his mind was reeling.

"You're young, and believe me, I understand how you feel about her, but she's not your imprint. Accept that fact quickly," I told him.

I didn't want to fight him. Bella considered him a friend, and even though she was upset with him at the moment, she wouldn't be happy should I end the young wolf right there in Charlie's kitchen. However, Jacob's thoughts were all over the place concerning her, me, and his hatred that I was back, because for a brief moment, he'd considered her to be his.

"She's _mine_!" I finally snapped, my fist coming down onto the counter next to Bella's thigh, and there was a soft, quiet cracking sound as the wood beneath threatened to give way to my strength. "Now she asked you to leave. Do not test my patience, Black. I will forcefully remove you from this house in order to abide by her wishes."

"Jacob, please just go," Bella urged him softly, but her fingers were on my face, pulling my angry gaze from the boy in front of us back to her. "Edward, calm down."

Jacob sighed deeply but left the house, slamming the door behind him. His car roared to life in the driveway, and the tires squealed a bit when he pulled out onto the street.

 **~ooo~Heaven~ooo~**


	4. Chapter 4

**~ooo~Heaven~ooo~**

 **Edward**

"Edward," Bella called softly again, and I closed my eyes when she turned my face her way as I tried to get my temper under control…and clear my nose of the stench of dog. "Do I want to know what he was thinking?"

"No, but I'll tell you if you ask." I braced myself for the question that never came, and my eyes remained closed as I relished the continued touches to my face and hair.

What did happen was the searing heat of Bella's kiss to my lips. A growl rumbled in my chest at that surprise, but I smiled into the kiss.

"Mmm," I hummed, reaching for her and pulling her closer so that I was standing between her legs. She was still in the clothes I'd left her in this morning, so strong, bare thighs gripped my waist. "I missed you," I whispered against her lips when she needed to breathe, but I could no more take my lips from her skin than I could step away from her at the moment.

"How m-much did you hear?" she asked, faltering when my tongue swirled just right on my favorite spot behind her ear.

"All of it."

Her giggle caused me to pull back and look her in the eye, but I smiled at her amusement. "Good," she said, and suddenly, she sobered, cupping my face and kissing me quickly. "I missed you, too. And I'm…sorry for whatever you saw at school." She tapped my temple lightly, meaning all that I'd seen through the minds and thoughts.

Wrinkling my nose, I nodded. "It's no more than I deserve, love. I messed up, so I need to own that. I'll try to make it up to you for as long as you want me."

She smirked, but it grew into a bright smile. "You mean that."

"I do."

"So if I said I wanted to stay human…"

"Then, I'm there through it all."

"And if I said I wanted to become like you, be yours, always and forever?"

I swallowed nervously, but I nodded. "I want that. Badly. But again, I'll abide by your wishes," I said, repeating what I'd said to Jacob. "I'm…I'm…scared, though." That admission was honest and difficult, but she needed to know.

"Why?"

"You know that hurting you would be excruciating for me, don't you? I've already hurt you emotionally, but the change, Bella… It's three days of burning hell. To cause you more pain is…"

"But you want it?" she asked in a whisper, and I nodded slowly, not trusting my voice. "So if I'm your mate and you want it, then wouldn't the end result be worth a brief few days of pain?" I opened my mouth to counter that question, but her fingers covered my lips gently. "I'm not underestimating the pain, Edward, I'm simply asking if making me yours forever would be worth a blink of pain in the great big picture. I trust _you_ to guide me, help me through whatever we do. You keep saying things are my choice, and after everyone making decisions _for_ me this past year, I appreciate that, but it's not how we should be. We should discuss this. Please. And quickly, because I need to kiss you again."

I chuckled softly, giving her the kiss she so badly wanted. I tasted and claimed her, feeling her melt beneath the touches I gave along her thighs and then around to her amazing plump bottom.

When she moaned beautifully and her scent hit the air just as potent and magnetic as this morning in her bed, I pulled back to press my forehead to hers.

Smiling, I said, "Now, with that out of the way…" I chuckled when she giggled breathlessly. "Maybe we can concentrate. Hmm?"

"Hardly."

Laughing, I cupped her face. "Bella, focus, because I can barely see straight standing here." When her hazy gaze locked back on my eyes, I took a deep breath. "You're right. We do have things to discuss. And yes, I'd very much like to work these things out together. But right this very second, my mind is everywhere. I can't… I want…"

Something about the word "mate" coming from her was making me wild. She'd said it to Jacob, she'd said it just a second ago. Every use of the word by her beautiful mouth made me need to do wicked things.

"Hey," she said, smiling when I looked at her. "Just tell me. Let's see where that goes. Throw it all out there, and we'll sort through it to see where we stand."

Her heartbeat told me she was doing her damnedest to find courage for this conversation, which was to be expected when it came to rebuilding trust. I stepped back a step, but only to be able to focus without the feel of legs and heat and her scent so overwhelmingly close.

"Since I've allowed myself to feel this," I said, tapping my chest. "Mating." I shook my head slowly, wrinkling my nose a bit. "Everything seems so… _much_. Bella, I underestimated you in the denial of this feeling. And now that it's here," I continued, gesturing between us, "I can't stop wanting… _everything_. I want to beg for forgiveness. I want to make you like me so that you'd be strong enough to put up with my idiocy, but mostly because I never want to hurt you. I want to tie myself to you in every way – human, immortal, earthly – so that you're mine in name, in venom, and in blood. I want to give you college and a house just for us. I want to see you thrive in both this world and my world, love, and I have no doubts that you can do it.

"But most of all," I sighed deeply, tilting my head at her and cupping her chin as my eyes darkened. They raked from her head to her toes and back up again. "I just _want you_. I can't stop the need, Bella. I love you more than I can express in words, and I'm struggling to stop myself from showing you. _Physically_." I balled my hands up into fists setting them lightly atop her thighs. I huffed a light laugh. "I don't know how to turn this off now that I've accepted it. I should just be grateful you haven't kicked me out like the dog."

She laughed at that last thing. "Maybe I don't want you to turn it off, Edward. I kinda like hearing you say these things."

"I know, love. And I should have explained everything to you before, but it seemed…inappropriate."

"To Mr. 1918, but I can assure you, it's just fine."

I laughed, but it died quickly. "You really aren't offended?" I asked in a whisper, and she shook her head no, her eyes darkening. "You really want to hear it?" Her nod was just as sexy and slow as her answer for that. Even more was the scent of her that increased in the air around me. "Jesus," I groaned, my eyes closing as I inhaled deeply. "You…you _like_ the idea…"

"Edward," she urged gently, pulling me back so that I was trapped between her legs again. "I love you. I loved you before you left. I love you now. I…I know you tried to do what you thought was best, but I also know that it must've killed you to do it." She nudged my nose with her own to get my attention. "I found my things in the floor today while you were at school. I found your note on top of it all. You said you didn't deserve me, when I always thought it was the other way around. I think you and I get to start over. Any damn way we want to do it."

Her lips met mine, and just when I was about to deepen it, lose myself in it, she pulled away, smiling a little. "Edward, I want all those things you mentioned. All of them, so the answer is yes. And I know that we've got some time to come to some sort of plan." She grinned, pushing my hair from my forehead. "Despite your changes, Edward Cullen, I know you'd feel better with a plan. We can do that, but…I'm in. I'm yours, and you're mine. I always knew that, and I'm really happy you know it now."

Grinning, I shook my head. "Sorry I'm late, Bella. Emmett always said I was slow."

"Emmett gets no say here." Her argument was said in a laugh. "And you're not slow, Edward. You just asked for my virginity, immortality, marriage, going off to college, and living together all in the same breath. I think 'slow' is officially out of your vocabulary."

I laughed, my forehead falling to her shoulder in embarrassment, because she was right. I had just declared all those things. But suddenly, I pulled back, my eyes wide as I gaped at her.

"And you…you just…Bella, you said yes."

She smiled. "I did." She leaned forward, pressing every inch of herself to my body. "What do you want to start with on that list?"

I inhaled sharply, but I shrugged a shoulder. "Um…I… God, Bella, I can't think with you touching me like this."

She smiled against my lips. "Let me help. College…yes, I've applied to a few places, and I can give you the list. Immortality… Yes, when you and I can sit down and really plan it, but the responsibility falls to you, so when _you_ are ready. Marriage and living together… Either one or both, the answer is yes. I imagine there isn't much divorce in the mating world."

"Practically nil," I whispered in awe, but my body stirred at the one thing she hadn't addressed. "And?"

"I'm not the only virgin in this room, Edward."

"But you're the only one that hasn't said if they…if…"

"I want you. I have since you first said you loved me. I just didn't think you saw me that way," she admitted softly, smiling a little. "However, you've shown me just how much you've changed since you left."

"I want to show you everything," I whispered, cupping her bottom and lifting her off the counter. "I can't _be_ without you. And I need to… I want…" The last of my control was ebbing away, but I at least had the wherewithal to ask one question. "Is Charlie really working overnight?"

"Yes," she said, grinning and placing her hands flat on either side of my face. "Though I've been given reprieve to have a 'sleepover' with Alice tomorrow night while you and the guys go 'camping,' if you'd…"

"I want you now… We're alone here. And no minds, no interference, even though Alice promised everyone was leaving us, but Bella, I… Is it wrong to say I've imagined it here?"

Bella froze, staring into my eyes as I took us up the stairs at a human pace. Once I was through her bedroom door, kicking it closed behind me, I stared back at her nervously.

"What?"

"Oh my God, you _have_ thought about it," she whispered, her cheeks blooming with her blush. "When?"

If _I_ could've blushed, I would have right then, and I looked away from her. Her lips met my cheek as she breathed the word, "please" against my skin. My eyes dragged from the rocking chair in the corner of her room, to the window I used more than the front door, and finally to the bed. We had a lot of amazing moments in this room.

"Since the first time I ever set foot in here," I admitted softly, my brow furrowing at just how awful that sounded, because she was unaware of my presence the first time. "But then…" I sat down on the edge of her bed, keeping her in my lap. To lose her touch at the moment would wreck me. "But then I was just trying to figure you out and why I couldn't hear your mind. After the meadow, after I knew I could be around you without…" I sighed, begging her to understand, and she smiled, kissed my lips, and nodded. "You must understand I had no interest in anyone, ever, Bella. So on top of the shock of your blood, I started to feel…everything. All at once. You're stunningly beautiful, which I'm not alone in noticing, but you're this bright light and warm heart, and you're amazingly smart. All of which was mine to discover."

I looked into her eyes. "In denying that you were my mate, I tried to control _my_ feelings, which led to underestimating _your_ feelings. I never…allowed specific touches or kisses, because I told myself I needed to control my thirst, my strength, my reactions. I told myself that I could kill you, and I'd convinced myself that it was a passing teen crush that you had for me, but fear is very powerful, Bella.

"The potency of your blood was, indeed, a reality. I honestly had to acclimate myself to you. That's the blatant truth. However, I used that as an excuse to continue to hold you at arm's length, and I'll never do it again."

"Okay," she said, grinning at me.

"Okay?" I laughed at her a bit. "I just told you I'd been having wicked thoughts about you since before we'd ever spoken, and you say… _okay_?"

"Mmhm," she hummed lightly, nodding a little. "I'm just waiting for you to connect the dots, Edward. Did you think you were only one with an imagination?"

I knew my eyes blackened right in front of her face, but her smile was sexy and sweet at the same time. "Did _you_ think about it?" I asked barely above a whisper.

"Yes, and I find it interesting that we both considered my room first."

"You did? I mean, you thought… Tell me how you saw it."

She laughed, trailing her fingers along my jaw and then through my hair. "I don't know, Edward. I just…I thought it would be something not really planned. I thought it would happen in the middle of the night when you stayed with me. I figured I'd be the one to push and you usually give in…well, give in on some things. But I was never really sure you wanted… _that_."

"God, I do, love. You have no idea." I studied her face, and despite the warmth in her eyes as she continued to touch my face, I saw what my careless words and behavior had done. "You thought I'd reject you," I whispered in shock.

She shrugged a shoulder lightly. "You said we couldn't be together _that way_ , Edward, so I never thought to try. Then…the woods. You said what I always knew to be true, that you'd move on and you didn't want me."

"C'mere," I whispered, guiding her to her pillows. I lined up beside her on my side, but gazed down at her. "That's why you believed me so quickly," I surmised softly, brushing her hair from her face, and she nodded. "I lied, Bella."

"I know. I think I knew it then, but—"

"No, you don't know." I kissed her lips to apologize for the interruption. "If I'd have told you all along how you made me feel, then the woods would've never happened. If I'd have been honest, told you how scared I was, then maybe we could've changed things. However, I can't go back in time and fix it. I can promise you from this point on to never let a day go by where I don't tell you how beautiful you are, how amazing you are, and how… _sexy_ you are. To me."

"Edward, stop!" she groaned in embarrassment, her hands covering her face.

I tugged at her wrists, pulling her hands away. "Please, love. Let me tell you now…"

 **~ooo~Heaven~ooo~**


	5. Chapter 5

**Edward**

Bella finally allowed me to pull her hands away, but she laughingly said, "Edward, be serious."

"I am being serious." I grinned, leaning in to kiss her lips to stop her protests. "Listen to me."

Cupping her face with one hand, I rubbed my thumb along her cheek as I thought about all the little things that I loved about her, things that drove me mad, things that I lived to see. I started with the gorgeous laughter that was shaking us both.

"Did you know that when I make you laugh, it makes me feel like a king? It's the most amazing sound, and your whole body reacts to it, from the crinkle by your eyes down to how your toes curl in a bit." I kissed her lips, smiling at her giggle. "Yeah, that."

Shifting a little, I loomed over her. "Your heart races when we kiss. Every time." I braced my hand by her head while the other one was flat between her breasts when I kissed her again. I couldn't help but smile again when her heartbeat sputtered and then thumped heavily against my palm.

"Edward…" she protested when I pulled away, but I shook my head.

"Wait, love. I'm not done." I leaned in to kiss the tip of her nose. "You have fourteen freckles across your nose, but my favorite is the one just below your ear. I pay homage to it every time I kiss you there. It stands all by itself, all lonely and friendless. It reminds me of me, and I can't help but cater to it." I dragged my lips across her cheek to my one, lone freckle. I kissed it softly once, inhaling her hair, and finally licking the skin that was heating up beneath my touch. "All the fun is happening with the group of freckles on your nose, but this guy, he's on the outside of things."

Her laugh echoed out into her bedroom, and I grinned against her ear. Her whole body wrapped around me, her arms and legs a cocoon of just Bella. I settled gently between the cradle of her thighs, continuing to smile down at her until it was absolutely impossible to resist kissing her.

I lost myself in the simple yet sensual act of our mouths moving perfectly together. Her lips were warm, soft, and hungry against my own, but her hands were tentative, pulling and tugging at my shirt at my waist. Pushing up a little, I reached back to grasp a handful of T-shirt and yanked it off.

"There," I told her, bracing back over her, my eyes never leaving her face. "Don't be afraid to touch me, Bella. You touch my face, my hands, and my hair; the rest of me is yours, as well."

Her eyes darkened as her hand reached out to skim over my skin from my ribs to my chest, stopping just over where my heart would've been pounding for her.

Her eyes locked onto mine, but her hand didn't move. "Every time I see you…" She shook her head a little. "You're perfect. It's a little unnerving, actually."

I snorted, raising an eyebrow at her. "We've been swimming, Bella. You forget I've seen you, too."

Closing my eyes for just a moment to bring the memories of the previous summer to mind, I sighed with want and happiness. It had been the most amazing summer of my very long life. For just a handful of weeks, I'd felt like I'd had it all. There had been long, rainy days spent in my room at the Cullen house, listening to music and reading to each other. Sunny days had been spent in our meadow, kissing and laughing, or we'd gone swimming in small lakes that were inaccessible to humans. I'd felt like a regular boyfriend on dates with just Bella or a part of something bigger when a huge group of us went to concerts or the movies. It had been my siblings and some of Bella's friends from school. It had felt normal and fun and perfect.

Opening my eyes again, I gazed down at her. "I want to see you again," I whispered as I toyed with the edge of her tank top, glancing down to my fingers and then back to her eyes. "The thought of seeing you – all of you – drives me crazy, Bella. I know that with all that I've seen in my long life, nothing will come close to you. And my imagination is most likely poor in comparison to the real thing."

Bella hesitated for just a heartbeat or two, but sat up. I shifted with her, sitting back on my heels between her legs as she reached for the hem of her shirt with shaking hands. The small tank top lifted slowly, revealing navel, stomach, and ribs slowly, and when it was completely gone, Bella settled back against the pillows, looking terrified and nervous.

My eyes reacquainted themselves with skin I'd seen before and then landed on parts of Bella that were new to see. Her breasts were round, perky, not big, not small.

"Perfect," I breathed aloud, my hands skimming along the outside of her thighs on either side of me. I took in the most gorgeous sight of her spread out for me almost completely bare, save for the shorts she still had on.

Bella's heart was hammering in her chest, and it looked like she was trying like hell not to cover up. Her courage was amazing to me. I was in awe of her – both physically and emotionally.

"You're stronger than me," I whispered, bracing back over her. "You always have been. You always will be. You're brave and courageous. You knew we'd work when I wasn't so sure."

"I love you, Edward," she said simply, shrugging a bare shoulder as she trailed her fingers along my face with one hand and down my spine with the other.

"I know, and I'm a lucky man," I whispered, finally giving into the temptation of her breasts and lightly placing my hand on one. "I'll never doubt again."

She was full yet heavy in my hand. And so, so soft and warm. Her nipples hardened and peaked beneath my touch, and as I trailed a finger around them, Bella's head fell back to the pillow behind her. However, the scent of her, which had already been hanging heavily in the air around us, increased that much more.

The moan I'd wanted to hear again vibrated through my hand when my thumb dragged across a nipple again. I shifted down a little, pressing a tentative kiss on her sternum.

"Where was I?" I asked teasingly, my eyes gazing up at Bella through my eyelashes, and I grinned when she glared back at me with mock impatience. "Oh yeah, we were discussing all the things I love about you…"

I swirled my tongue from one nipple to the other, but then focused on the tiny scar on her stomach just above her navel. "I love this mark. I love its perfect location and shape. I wanted to ask you the day we went swimming how you got it, but I didn't want you to think I was just ogling you like some sort of…deviant." I grinned when her stomach shook with her laugh.

"I think I know now that you _are_ some sort of deviant, Edward."

"Maybe."

"Mm," she hummed, raking her fingers through my hair. "It's not all that exciting, you know."

"Tell me, love," I whispered, giving that tiny mark a long, slow, open mouth kiss. "End my dreadful curiosity."

She giggled again, shaking her head. "It happened when I was ten. Mom had rose bushes, and one of the thorns snagged my shirt…and my skin."

"Aww," I crooned, kissing it again. "Had I been there, it would've been met with my wrath, love."

"Edward…" She trailed off because she laughed again. "Had you been there when I was ten, I would've still crushed on you," she teased, hitting my side with her thigh. "You're very cute, you know."

I laughed, smothering it into her stomach, which clenched a little. "No boy bands or actors for you?" I asked, dragging my nose along the elastic of her shorts.

"Hell, no. I'd have wanted a poster of you."

Rolling my eyes at her teasing, I shook my head. "Silly girl."

My hand flattened on her stomach, and both of us sobered quickly. I was nearing dangerous territory, and soon there would be no turning back, but I honestly didn't want to hold back with her anymore.

"Bella, there's not an inch of you I don't simply adore," I breathed against her hip, never taking my eyes from her face. "I love you, beautiful, and I could go on and on for decades about all the things that make me love you, but… Jesus, I just want to show you." I swallowed nervously. "I'm scared to hurt you, but I'm even more scared not to try. I can't seem to reconcile those two fears."

"C'mere," she whispered, opening her arms for me, and I shifted back up her glorious body so that we were face to face. "Remember our first kiss?" she asked, smiling a little when I nodded. "We started slow, easy. This can be the same way. I love you, Edward, and I'll tell you if you hurt me."

Nodding, I leaned my forehead to hers and closed my eyes to center myself. I opened my mouth to warn her, to bring the ugly truth of things into this situation, but I snapped it closed. I knew from being in Brazil there was a chance that I could get her pregnant, that old, scary myths were true about human-vampire hybrids, but I also knew that my Bella was on birth control to regulate her periods. Whether I'd wanted to hear it at the time or not, Carlisle had told me that would be enough prevention. Rather than sully the mood with any of that and saving that topic for later, I just took a deep breath and kissed her.

We started slow – kissing, touching, and finally removing the last of the clothes we were wearing. The feeling of her skin on mine was overwhelming.

"Bella, Bella, Bella," I hissed, my arms shaking as I wrapped an arm around her. We were on our sides, every inch of us touching. I exhaled roughly through my nose, my eyes squeezed tightly shut. "Wait, love. I need…"

Bella froze, even her hands stilled. "Okay," was all she said as she waited for me to calm down.

"Tell me now, if you… I mean, if you aren't…" Grimacing at my lack of the ability to speak, I opened my eyes, expecting to see her impatience, but I saw the opposite. Love was all I saw gazing back at me. Taking a deep breath, I said, "Please stop me now if you aren't ready."

"Are you?" she countered, nuzzling her nose along mine.

"Yes." I nodded, too, but leaned in to kiss her. "It may hurt, love, but…" I rolled her onto her back, my hand skimming along warm, smooth skin. As I neared the apex of her thighs, my eyes were only on her face. "I want to touch you first, make you feel good." I knew if she came first, it would make things easier. She'd be more relaxed, too.

Her hips raised and her breath caught when my hand cupped her sex possessively. The heat was searing my palm.

"So hot, Bella," I breathed against her cheek, bending my fingers just enough that they slipped in, gliding along soft, wet flesh. "One day, I want to kiss you here," I said, but I wasn't sure she heard me. Her moans were growing louder the more I touched her. She was swollen, needy, and in all my life, with all I'd read or seen in the minds of men, nothing prepared me for the actual feel of her. There wasn't anything as powerful or as humbling as this. Muscles clenched, hips rolled as they tried to guide me, and Bella's heart was flying. I'd thought the orgasm I'd given her just that morning had been a sight to behold, but being able to control it with my own hand, my own touch, all while whispering to her to let go, felt amazing. I felt like a maestro conducting a complex symphony. It was better than playing any song on the piano. It was heaven in its purest form, though now, my mind was thinking about just how hot and wet it would be once I was inside her.

"Ed-Edward…" she breathed, her head pressing into the pillow, exposing her neck. I pressed a long, open kiss to her throat.

"That's it, love," I breathed, my eyes unable to focus. They flickered between what my hand was doing and her stunning face. I couldn't decide which sight was best. "Oh, I feel you…" I gasped in awe that every bit of her was reacting to my voice, my touch. Skin flushed, hips rose up, stomach muscles clenched, and her breath caught.

An inarticulate string of sounds escaped her as she fell over the edge. To feel her flutter around my fingers was not what I was expecting, but I was suddenly filled with pride and courage. I pressed kisses to her temple, my fingers slowly moving inside her until she calmed down, and then I placed them on her stomach.

"That was beautiful," I whispered, smirking that she was still a bit glassy-eyed, but when she turned to face me, I smiled. "Hey."

She reached for my face, pulling my lips to hers. "That was… I knew…" She huffed a frustrated exhale against my lips. "I love you," she finally ended simply, pulling me on top of her, and I settled between her legs.

Somehow, she knew to just keep kissing me, touching me, guiding me. Soon, my cock was at her entrance and I froze.

"S'okay, Edward. I'm okay, and you are, too."

Nodding nervously, I toyed with a lock of her hair. "There's no going back, Bella. Tell me… There will only ever be you…for me."

My breathing was heavy, because it was taking all I had to monitor my movements, my weight bearing down on her, and the urge to claim my mate in the most basic of ways. And I didn't want to do that. I wanted to love her until the end of time.

"And you for me," she countered, brushing light, licking kisses across my mouth.

She said that with such conviction, such surety that all my fears settled down. She was right; she'd always known, but I hadn't believed. Looking at her now, I knew I'd never doubt it again.

I slipped in slowly at first, watching her face for pain or discomfort, but I only saw love and need that matched my own. The power I'd felt when I'd pressed my lips to hers after being apart reemerged with a shocking spark. It crackled down my spine, and when I was fully inside her, I'd never felt as _right_ as I did at the moment. It felt new and warm and wet, but it felt like it should, like home and perfection, like all the missing or messy pieces of my life had finally aligned, showing me that everything finally made sense.

She made everything make sense.

It was all very overwhelming, but the superfluous stuff narrowed down to a tunnel-vision, showing me just Bella. And once I started to move, I knew I'd never be the same again. It didn't matter that I needed to control my strength or my thirst, because all that mattered was what she needed. And I needed her to know.

"I didn't know, love," I vowed in a whisper against her lips. "This is…"

"Yes…perfect."

"I know."

We started a new language that I knew we'd speak to each other from this point on. It was just for us. It was begging and urging for more, deeper, harder. It was kisses that took my breath away, and declarations of love. There were touches that caused my rhythm to completely unravel, and soon I was buried deep inside of her, my hands shredding the last of the sheets I'd damaged that very morning.

"Damn it," I groaned, nuzzling her sweaty temple and pressing kisses there over and over. "Did I…"

"No, Edward, you didn't hurt me."

"Your sheets, however," I sighed, holding up a shred of purple cotton.

She grinned, pushing the cloth away and bringing my face to hers to kiss me. "They make more sheets, Edward."

"I'll buy you every color of the rainbow, my love," I vowed in a chuckle, but couldn't bear to separate from my mate just yet. "We…need… Bella, I want everything I mentioned, and I don't know if…" I swallowed nervously. "I can't be away from you now. Hope you're okay with that. I think we're stuck."

"More than okay, Edward. I think that sounds like heaven."

"Me, too," I sighed, laying my head on her chest, and her fingers immediately started to comb through my hair slowly as I listened to her heart settle down. "Bella?"

"Hmm?" she hummed, and I smiled that I heard it through her chest.

"How do you feel about Dartmouth for college and a private island for a honeymoon?"

 **~ooo~Heaven~ooo~**

 **A/N… This was always going to be just for fun, and I'd intended it to be a lemon for Jenny as a birthday present. ;) I didn't want to delve into endless retribution for Edward or an unforgiving Bella. I just wanted something lemony and fun. And I had a good time writing it. So…from here, anything could happen – canon Nessie or college or whatever. I just wanted to take a side street from NM, but really, it could go right back to canon, but I doubt it. I think they'd talk things through now before freaking out.**

 **I don't plan to add to this, though an outtake/epi wouldn't be hard to tack on the end here. We'll see. This would never be a full fic, because it would end up very…I don't know…Angelward-ish. ;) And I don't want to do that, either. So…sadly this most likely the end of it.**

 **Anyway, I'm glad everyone came along for the ride. I'm glad Jenny loved it, which was my biggest goal. And I hope everyone has a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. Be safe through it all.**

 **Until next time… Mooches, Deb ;)**


	6. Chapter 6 - Outtake

**A/N… Okay, so I wasn't** _ **quite**_ **ready to let these two go. ;) And since this was Jenny's gift, I asked her what she'd want to see as an outtake/future-take. She touched on two things specifically and a couple things she could take or leave, and I'll tell you what those are at the end. I took it as a challenge to give her what she wanted. LOL I'll say this again…Jenny's very spoiled, but at least she owns it. ;)**

 **This a future shot, so enjoy.**

 **~ooo~Heaven~ooo~**

 **Edward**

I leaned back against the trunk of a tree, pushing my hands into the front pockets of my jeans. My eyes soaked up the sight before me. It was four years to the day that Bella, Alice, and I had barely escaped Italy with our lives.

I wasn't sure anyone remembered the date, but I did. It was the day that forever changed me. It was the day I stopped fighting what I was truly meant to do with my life, who I was supposed to be, and what kept me breathing – _her_.

My eyes stayed locked on the person that made me a better man. My wife. My mate. My Bella.

"If you're scared, say you're scared," Emmett taunted her, wearing his big grin.

"You wish," she growled back at him, setting her elbow on the large boulder he'd just set down in front of her.

In four very short years, everything had changed. Bella and I had married at the Cullen house in Forks the summer after we graduated high school and just before we went off to Dartmouth. Bella had wanted to give her parents something to remember, a wedding, a perfect moment where we showed everyone just how happy we were, but that we were solidly together, despite our "break-up." It was one of the best days of my life. She'd been happy and stunning in a dress Alice had made, carrying a bouquet of wildflowers I'd personally picked from our meadow.

The honeymoon on Isle Esme followed, and there weren't enough words in any language to express just how amazing that was – two glorious weeks of just the two of us, no interruptions, and barely a stitch of clothes worn the entire time. After that first time in Bella's bedroom, we became insatiable for each other. For me, it was a nonstop need to be with my mate, and for Bella, it was the most beautiful expression of her love for me. There had been days where I'd been completely at her mercy.

Grinning to myself at that thought, I shook my head. I drove her crazy most of the time. She'd joined the masses at Dartmouth with a thirst for knowledge, and she maintained the patience of a saint when it came to me. I was possessive and protective. I was paranoid something would happen to her, even the most inane things posed a threat – traffic, weather, another paper cut, and the ogling male students. The latter had been filled with lewd and foul thoughts for the two years we attended college, which resulted in my surrender to change Bella.

From the moment I'd returned to her, she'd said we needed a plan, but I wasn't quite ready to let her humanity go, and I encouraged her to give college some time. My fear of not being able to stop when it came to her change was a real and tangible thing, so I begged for time. However, after two years and one male student in her algebra class that had thought the wrong thing at the wrong time, I'd taken her too hard, with too much need, and I'd bruised her. At that point, I knew I needed her like me…and soon. I was damned lucky I hadn't broken bones.

As Bella had neared the end of two years – and her associate's degree – I'd finally fallen to my knees and surrendered, all the while kissing every bruise that was healing. I begged for forgiveness yet again, telling her I was ready, but that I needed Carlisle's counsel. I wanted it to go as smooth and as easy as we could do it, but I begged her to understand that I needed my father close. She accepted it like Bella always did – with a sweet, understanding smile and a warm kiss to my lips as she pushed my hair off my forehead.

"I trust you, Edward," she'd said, and with that, we'd started to plan and move and arrange for her "death."

Her gorgeous laughter rang across the clearing as she used her strength against Emmett. It was an arm wrestling match that was a long time coming. She was now a little over a year into her immortality, and she was absolutely flawless. She was grace and strength and speed. She was calm and comfortable in her new body. And if I thought she was beautiful and alluring as my warm, sweet, soft human, _nothing_ prepared me for her change.

I heard Carlisle's mind before I felt his approach as he came to stand beside me.

"She's taken to this life better than any of us," he muttered, though his chuckle laced through every word, and they matched his mind.

Nodding, I smiled over at him. His thoughts were filled with pride and awe of my strength, but they shifted to show my happiness, which was a sharp contrast as to how I'd been the decades prior to Bella stumbling into our lives. He'd always worried that he'd changed me too young, that he'd condemned me to this life, but as he gazed upon his newest daughter, he knew he'd done the right thing. Or at the very least, he was ecstatic that things had a way of working out, no matter the length of time.

"I'd live another hundred years over if the end result was her," I whispered in response to his train of thought.

He reached over and gripped my shoulder. "We all feel that way about our mates, son."

Grinning, I sighed a deep breath, a content release of… _finally_. I'd seen through the minds of my family how it felt to be connected to that _one person_. They'd orbit around each other like moons and stars. Every thought, concern, and act was done with their mate in mind. Carlisle and Esme had a deep-rooted connection, and they were calming and peaceful for each other. Emmett and Rosalie were the epitome of passion and fun, but the poster children for opposites attracting, because they couldn't be more different from each other. Though, it worked for them. Then there was Alice and Jasper, whose relationship was soul deep and relied upon emotion and loyalty. I'd watched it all, tried to stay away from it. And I'd hated every minute of it. I'd hated seeing it when nothing in my life had ever been that perfect. I'd wanted it, but I'd consoled myself that it would never come.

Dragging my gaze across the clearing again, I smiled at the giggling laughter coming from all the women in my life. Beautiful warm, golden eyes met my own, and the smile Bella saved just for me curled up her full, red lips.

 _Edward? Baby, you okay?_

My brow wrinkled as I nodded, but I couldn't stop my smile, making her giggle when I looked at her as if she were crazy. Nothing in my life could be better. My life was now infinitely better than simply "okay." Just as quickly as her mind opened to me, it closed. She was working on it, but it wasn't a constant line of communication for her. We'd discovered just after her change that she was a shield, which explained why her mind had been always silent to me.

"She's getting better at letting you read her thoughts," Carlisle said, chuckling a little. _Though, every time she does it, you look like you've won the lottery._

Laughing at his silent sarcasm, my head fell back to the tree behind me. "I can't help it."

Alice's mind whirled with visions, landing on a specific one, which was that Bella needed to hunt. I didn't even think twice, and I pushed off the tree just as Bella looked to me with her fingers on her throat.

"I know, love. C'mon, we'll go for a quick hunt and come right back."

She'd missed my family, but the past year had been mainly just the two of us. This was the first time in several months that we were all back together. Alice and Jasper had decided to travel. Emmett and Rosalie had a home a few towns over. Carlisle and Esme had been in Alaska for the last four months. I'd wanted Bella's first year to be not unlike how Carlisle had worked with me – one on one. My Bella was a private person, and her change was no different. She'd wanted my guidance, and she appreciated Carlisle's input, especially in the very first days, but for this, she relied heavily upon me. And I was perfectly okay with that.

We were currently in Canada just north of Montana. We were deep in the woods, where I felt comfortable enough to allow a newborn Bella freedom to run, to hunt, and to test herself without the fear of too many humans nearby. Although, in comparison to every last one of my siblings, Bella's newborn year had been a breeze, something that Carlisle was convinced was her shield at work.

Wrapping an arm around her shoulders, I kissed the side of her head as we walked at a human pace through the clearing. Just inside the tree line, my girl pushed away from me with a giggle and took off. Chuckling and shaking my head, I allowed her the head start, knowing I was still faster than she was. I lagged behind, tracking her enough to keep close should she need me, but just far enough away to let her hunt on her own.

Her takedown of a doe was as graceful as a lioness, with strength and speed, barely even messing up her clothes, which wasn't always the case, but she'd gotten better at it. A ray of sunlight broke through the heavy clouds, causing Bella's now immortal skin to glimmer, cast rainbows of light all around her, and I shook my head as I remembered telling her once it was the skin of a killer. Memories of how we met, getting to know her, and Italy played in my mind in perfect clarity.

Four years. I sighed again in contentment. It all happened so fast. So many important moments in my life, so many mistakes, but looking at her right then, I couldn't regret a single thing. Changing her was one of them, even the conversation that took place just prior to it.

 **~oOo~**

" _Edward Cullen, you'll stop and listen to me!" Bella said, and my girl didn't have to yell to get my attention, but her voice was trembling all the same._

 _Sitting forward on the edge of our bed, I sank my fingers into my hair in frustration and nerves. When her beautiful bare feet appeared in my vision as I glared down at the floor, I couldn't stop myself from reaching out and pulling her between my legs._

" _I'm sorry, I just…"_

" _No, listen, Edward," she urged in a whisper, tilting my face up to meet her always-so-damn-patient gaze. "I need to know if that's something you want, baby. And don't give me vampire medical stats. Give me the damn truth!"_

 _I huffed a humorless laugh, shaking my head. "I…I don't know what I want, love. That's the damn truth. Is it physically possible for you to carry my child? Yes, but at what risk, Bella?! Carlisle's concerned with your frame, your health, your diet. It would be so…so…fucking hard on you, and I—"_

 _Her heartbeat picked up a little at my language. I so rarely used curse words, but I couldn't control anything at the moment. It wasn't the first time we'd discussed this, but it would be the last, because I needed to make a decision. All I knew was that I never, ever wanted to see bruises in the shapes of my handprints on her precious skin again. Anything other than that was superfluous._

 _That thought had me gently lifting the bottom of her shirt and pressing long, loving kisses to the yellowing bruises on her torso. The list of what could've gone wrong was endless. There could've been broken ribs, punctured lungs, internal bleeding. With one wrong move, I could've snapped her damn spine._

 _All because that useless, insignificant human in her algebra class had lost himself to a long, detailed fantasy about my wife. I'd needed to hunt – that much was certain – but it was all I could do not to snap the bastard's neck. She was mine. And I couldn't stop. I was beyond reachable when it came to my mate, and it didn't help that she fed off of it, loved the moments when I was lost to her, even when I was damned dangerous._

" _I don't… Bella, I don't think I can wait much longer. I'm… This was too close," I told her honestly, my lips brushing against each remaining bruise. Looking up at her, I shook my head. "It will be hard enough for me to change you without adding undue stress to the situation. I've come to terms a long, long time ago that I would never father children, Bella. I… If this is something you want, however, I… I will have to mull it over, because to risk you… Love, I can't lose you! I just…_ can't _. It feels like I just got you, and where a part of me gets lost in the fantasy of it, the realist in me can't live without you should something go wrong."_

 _I smelled the salt of her tears before they fell down her cheeks, and instantly, I pulled her to my lap. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry," I chanted over and over against her lips, cheeks, and my favorite freckle just behind her ear. That lonely freckle was still the one place I tended to give extra love to when I kissed her, only now she knew why._

" _Hey," she whispered, cupping my face and pulling me from her neck. My forehead fell to hers as I lost myself in her warm, deep brown eyes. "Okay, so we won't risk it. We've risked enough since we met."_

 _I laughed softly, nodding against her. "Yeah, but damn, it was worth it."_

" _Yeah," she said dreamily, and I pressed my lips to hers. "Since you listened to me about Victoria, then I'll concede to this, Mr. Cullen."_

 _Flashes of that evil, redheaded demon came to mind, and I nodded again. Bella had begged and pleaded for me to let it go with Victoria, to let the wolves deal with her. My girl had been near frantic when she'd heard I'd tried tracking her when we were apart, so I stepped back as my family and the wolves, now led by Jacob, ended not only Victoria, but the small newborn army she'd built. It was all over in one afternoon as Bella and I had barely left the bed of a hotel room in Seattle._

" _Compromise, Mrs. Cullen?" I whispered against her lips, just about to start removing whatever sleepwear she'd donned for bed. I'd love her slowly, gently tonight, reveling in her warmth and racing heartbeat._

 _Her grin spread over her beautiful face every time I called her that, and I chuckled at her. However, I pulled back, sobering quickly. "We need to plan, love."_

" _You're sure you're ready?"_

 _Nodding, I slipped my hands beneath her shirt, ghosting my touch over smooth, warm skin, but blindly tracing my own handprints. "I can't risk this…again."_

 _She studied my face, reaching up to rake her fingers through my hair. "Okay, then after I finish this semester, we'll move. We'll plan it." She paused for a moment. "Actually,_ you'll _plan it, and I'll follow."_

" _Not follow," I corrected her. "We're together on this one, but I need Carlisle."_

" _I know you do, baby."_

 **~oOo~**

The feel of Bella's hands on either side of my face brought me back to the present, and I smiled her way, wrapping my arms around her waist and pulling her glorious body flush to mine.

"Where are you today, Edward?" she asked with a laugh, but there was concern in her eyes, as well.

I opened my mouth to explain, only to snap it closed. Finally, I mumbled the truth. "Four years ago today, love… We…You… Italy."

"Today? Really?" she asked softly.

"Try, Bella," I breathed against her lips as I lifted her into my arms. "Let me see how you remember it."

I smiled when my girl took a deep, readying breath and then lifted her shield. I never really pushed when it came to reading her thoughts. I could read her beautiful face better than my own, but every now and then I'd ask her to simply _try_. I wondered if I'd ever become spoiled to it, or if she enjoyed being the only one free from my invading gift.

Blurry, human memories came to the forefront of her mind as I sat us down at the base of that tree. Bella's thoughts circled around pain and loss, but the unbelievable love she had for my sister when she'd showed up. The mantra that they both had was, "Please, let us get there in time." Over and over, Bella thought it. It didn't matter that I'd left her, that possibly seeing me would rip her heart wide open, because all she knew was I was too important to die.

Closing my eyes, I pressed my lips to her forehead and left them there as I ran with her through the streets of Volterra. Her panic became my own when the clock in the tower started to strike midday. I saw myself, my resolve to die, but I looked at how she saw me. Thinking she was already gone from this earth, I already felt dead, and I looked it. I also looked thirsty and worn, with barely a glance at my surroundings. And if I'd have just _looked_ , I'd have seen, heard, smelled Bella coming at me at the fastest her feet could carry her.

Her memory was fuzzy up until the throne room with Aro, Caius, and Marcus. Her fear was palpable, even after so long, not because we were standing in a room with the most powerful of my kind, but that those men had my head in their hands, and she simply couldn't allow it.

 _Kill me. Not him._

 _You know_ nothing _about his soul._

Bella's shield closed up, and I pulled back to look at her.

"Sorry, I couldn't hold it much longer." Her smile was sweet, but her apology was unnecessary.

Smiling, I brushed my lips over hers. "You're getting really good at that, love," I praised her first, but paused for a moment to push a lock of hair away from her face. "You were mad."

"I was _pissed_!" She laughed, shaking her head. "Who was that guy to tell me what I should believe about your soul?!" She pointed a finger at me and growled a little. "And don't tell me he's the leader of the vampire world. I don't care. He can believe whatever he wants about himself and his creepy brothers, but he can't tell me you aren't a beautiful soul. He didn't even know you."

"My brave girl," I soothed, cupping her face and kissing her deeply. "You know, that's what Marcus saw. That's the moment I realized that you were my other half, Bella. He saw that you would, without a second thought, put yourself in my place. He stopped Aro, telling him to leave us, that we were mated."

Bella tilted her gorgeous head a little, her sharp eyes raking over my face. It was every bit vampire and alien, not my shy, sweet girl, but her smile and loving gaze were exactly the same as that human girl I'd first met. She still had some work to do when it came to slowing down her actions to a human pace, but she was getting there. Reaching up she trailed her fingers across my face, along my jaw, and down my nose.

"Is that why Aro made you promise to change me?" she asked softly, dragging her thumb gently across my bottom lip.

Pressing a kiss to it, I nodded. "Partly. The other part was because, we'd broken a rule about humans knowing, though Marcus had lost his mate at one time, so he spoke up, putting his foot down to Aro."

We were quiet for a moment, content to simply be in each other's arms.

"You look lost today, baby," she noted, her brow furrowing, but she laughed lightly.

"It's been four years, love," I whispered, looking down between us where she was wrapped around me in sinful jeans. My eye caught my mother's ring on her finger, and I picked it up and pressed a kiss to it. "In some ways, time isn't a factor for our kind," I said, smiling at the word "our," because she was one of us now. "Time for me personally was long and dreadful before you, Bella, even though it really wasn't. Meeting you simply made everything before that pale in comparison. But these four years – hell, even this last year – have gone by in the blink of an eye, and…"

I swallowed nervously, because what I was about to say was the blatant, raw truth.

"One lifetime with you will never be long enough, Bella. Changing you…" I sighed deeply, finally lifting my gaze to her patient, golden eyes. "It was the scariest, most important, yet best decision of my life. I need you. And I've always needed you, love."

I rolled my eyes at myself, at how lovesick I sounded at the moment, and I was glad my brothers weren't around to give me hell about it – not that they didn't have their days where they were just as bad – but my eyes caught sight of my bite mark on her neck. It was just below my lonely freckle I doted on so much. My finger trailed along its shiny surface, noting each tooth mark.

The memory of the night I'd changed her was clear and vivid, bringing with it the feeling of panic and fear. As much as I tried to convince my Bella to keep everything clinical and controlled, my wife had wanted something…different.

 **~oOo~**

 _The scent of shampoo and floral soap and warm shower wafted in from the bathroom as I gazed out the window of our new home in Canada. I could hear Esme with Bella, a gentle, calming conversation. It was just the four of us in the house. My siblings had been by earlier, but for this, I needed my "parents."_

" _Here, son," Carlisle said, coming to the doorway. In his hands were two syringes – one was morphine, and the other was my venom we'd collected just that morning. "I'm not so sure the venom won't simply burn away the morphine, but it couldn't hurt to try it." He sighed deeply, reaching out to grip my shoulder._ You can do this, Edward. I have complete faith in you, and I promise I'm just going far enough that all you need to do is call my name, _he thought to me, and it was soothing and filled with hopeful pride._

" _Wh-What if… She wants me to… What if I can't stop?"_

 _He took a deep breath and let it out, not because he needed it, but to take a moment to let his thoughts center. He thought back to how he'd changed me. He'd closed off his throat in order to keep the flavor from even tempting him. He'd quit breathing to stop the scent of it from starting a frenzy. And lastly, he'd closed his eyes, not even letting the sight of it meet his gaze until he'd at least gotten the venom into my bloodstream._

" _After you, I got the hang of it," he said, grinning when I snorted a little. "You… You were different. You'd lost so much, but your mother…" He sighed deeply, shaking his head when his thoughts trailed off. "Esme was so close to death…Rosalie and Emmett, too…but their heartbeats were faint. You had a pounding heart, due to your fevered state, so you posed a bit of temptation, but I closed every one of my senses off."_

 _We both shifted a bit into the hallway when the shower shut off, and Esme continued to pamper Bella._

Edward, _he thought to me._ I've never regretted changing a single one of you. I love you all. Bella, too. But you, son… You were there for me when I needed you the most, even when you were at your most confused, and I couldn't be more proud of you. It's my absolute honor to help you do this. Do you understand what I'm telling you? I've watched you guard, protect, and love everyone in this family without question. You've stood by us when it was breaking you apart inside. For me to see this…this amazing level of happiness – something I've wanted for you since I found Esme – it does my heart good. Edward, you're so much stronger than you think you are, and when it comes time, I need you to keep your love for her in the forefront of your mind. Block everything else out but that. Use your heart, son. Follow it. Let it guide you through this.

" _Yes, sir," I whispered, a little overwhelmed at just how much love I could feel from him through his thoughts. I looked down at the two syringes in my hand, nodding a bit. "It hurts me, scares me to no end to think I'm going to cause her pain, Carlisle."_

" _I know, but as soon as the venom hits her bloodstream, I'll be right here with you to monitor her. You will not be alone in this. I know you want privacy, that Bella wants it, and I can respect that, but I'm here for the both of you. Okay?"_

 _I nodded and then felt Esme's arms wrap around my waist from the side, and I couldn't help but smile down at her as she said, "We won't be far, my sweet boy."_

 _Grinning at the old term of endearment, I nodded, kissing her cheek. "Thanks, Mom."_

" _She's nervous, but she's more worried about you, and what this will do to you."_

 _I let out a rough laugh. "Of course she is," I said through a chuckle I couldn't stop. "That's just…Bella."_

 _Carlisle grinned, but reached up to hold my face for a moment. "That. Hold that in your mind. You won't lose her, and I won't let you."_

 _They left the house when the sound of Bella calling my name made me turn around and close the door. She stepped out of the bathroom, wearing a beautiful blue robe. It was some sort of soft material – silk or satin – and my hands ached to reach out and touch, but I took a deep breath and held up the two syringes._

" _Carlisle thought these would help." Her sweet face paled a little, and her nose wrinkled adorably, which made me chuckle as I set them down on our nightstand. "My brave Bella," I said with a light laugh, sitting down on the edge of the bed. "The thought of pain and immortality doesn't scare you, but the tiny needles do?"_

" _Shut up, Edward!" She giggled, and it was the most beautiful sound, considering what we were about to face. "Immortality just means that I get to keep you."_

 _That simple and totally honest declaration made my chest constrict with the weight of my love for her. If my heart could beat, it would've pounded against my ribcage. As it was, my breathing faltered and the venom stung my eyes with tears._

" _Christ," I breathed, reaching out to pull her by her hand to stand between my legs. I held her waist but met her deep, loving gaze. "I'm never going anywhere, Isabella Cullen. My fate is now wrapped up in this beautiful face," I told her, trailing my fingers down her blushing cheek. "It's right here." I placed my hand flat over her pounding heart. "Whether it beats or not…"_

" _It's yours," she finished for me._

" _Yes, ma'am. Always."_

 _I said that with the knowledge that she was – and always would be – mine. And I was hers. I knew it like I knew that the sun rose in the east and set in the west. I relied upon it, leaned on it, and flaunted it, because it was unbreakable, infallible, and absolutely beautiful. Bella loved me as much as I loved her. It was the truth that came from leaving her, from reuniting with her, and seeing it firsthand in Italy that fateful day. I never doubted it. And I didn't need Alice's visions to show me that our future would be amazing. I could feel it, see it every time I looked Bella in the eye, felt her touch, and heard her voice tell me she loved me. It was why I'd requested privacy for this night. I wanted Bella to guide me. Carlisle was simply insurance, because I was no longer arrogant enough to think I knew best._

" _Edward, I—" Her face blushed crimson when she snapped me back to reality, but she dropped her gaze to my lips, licking her own. "I just… I want you one more time. I want…" She turned and looked at the needles, only to spin back to me. "I understand those, but…I want to feel you love me before…"_

 _I couldn't deny her anything. I never have been able to do it, despite what she thought before we returned from Italy. I'd hand her anything her little heart desired, but all her heart ever wanted was me, and I was a humbled man because of it._

 _Reaching out, I toyed with the tie on that midnight blue silk robe. I pulled the belt free of its knot, and the material parted but didn't reveal all of her, even though I could see she was bare beneath the soft fabric. Trailing a fingertip across her bottom lip and down her chin, I smiled when she shivered. I continued my path down that sweet peek of flesh, keeping my eyes on her gorgeous face._

 _She didn't believe me, but the last two years had caused amazing changes to her body. She was smooth skin, strong muscles, and curves that drove me mad on most days. She'd tell me she still felt like the awkward teen from Forks, but she was so far from it. Every inch of her was sexy and awe-inspiring woman._

 _Her heart rate picked up, but a small, shy smile curled her lips. "I love it when you look at me that way. Will…Will you miss it? The warm, fragile human, the heartbeat?" she asked, but I could see her worry._

 _My hand flat over her heart, I shook my head no. "I get to keep you," I whispered in response, still shaking my head – whether in answer or to clear it, I wasn't sure. "_ You _, my sweet Bella. I could always tell your emotions by your heartbeat, but I look forward to learning to read you in other ways, love. Your facial expressions won't change," I teased her, bringing her closer in order to press a soft kiss to her lips. Cupping her face, I brought her forehead down to mine, finally expressing the biggest concern. "I don't want to hurt you, Bella." My voice broke a little. "I don't want to lose myself if this…if I—"_

" _I trust you, Edward."_

 _They were the four most dangerous, most amazing words she ever uttered to me. Her faith in me, her trust since that black day in the woods just outside her father's front door – that meant everything to me. Having broken that trust and earned it back made me appreciate it all the more, but it scared me, too._

" _I know you do, love. And while I love that you trust me, your request scares me to no end. To actually bite you—"_

 _Her smile was warm, sweet, and patient as she cut me off with a kiss. "Does my blood still sing for you, Edward?"_

 _That tease, while truthful, was meant to bring us back to the beginning. I huffed a light laugh, but then I sighed a bit, pulling her wrist to my nose._

" _Yes and no. I'm very used to how it's always there, but sweetheart, it's been three years since I've tasted it on my tongue, and not to scare you, but I can remember it clearly." I winced at that statement, but she cupped my face. "It doesn't matter that I was saving you then…from James's bite. It's now going to be a deliberate act, and oh God, the pain."_

" _Right," she conceded, kissing me briefly. "But I also know that you want to make me yours, mark me in some way."_

 _Embarrassed, I glanced down at my hands that were still toying with the edges of her robe. She was right; I did want that, but at what cost?_

 _I grimaced at that but looked back to her face when she asked, "Is that a mating thing? Or an Edward thing?"_

 _Chuckling, I shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe a bit of both. Bella, I'll try._ Try _, okay?"_

 _Bella placed her hands flat on either side of my face, bringing me in for a kiss. "I love you. And no pain can compare to losing you, baby." She smiled sadly. "No pain can touch that. So I know that when I come through this, your oh-so-handsome face will be the first thing I'll see. That this hand will be holding mine."_

" _Yes. Without question, my beautiful Bella. Are you nervous?"_

" _No." She shook her head. "I just want to make love to you, and then however you feel comfortable, Edward, just… I just want you to know that while I'm out for three days, I want this, want you, and that I'm ready. Know that_ now _before you even touch me."_

 _Nodding, I took a deep breath, focusing on her body, the scent that was wrapping around me like a heady fog. This scent had nothing to do with blood, but everything to do with my draw to her._

 _Slipping my fingers just under the edge of the robe, I slowly pushed the soft fabric off her shoulders. The dark blue fluttered to the floor, and my eyes drank in the sight of her bare body, her shyness that no longer existed because she believed me now when I told her that she was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen._

" _How do you want me to touch you, love?" I asked her, tilting my head just enough to inhale her sweet skin from her sternum up to my favorite freckle just behind her ear._

 _If I could've picked a spot that I wanted to mark, it would be that place, but I was still unsure, and I took comfort in the syringes lying on the nightstand._

" _Just love me, Edward."_

 _Fingers threaded into my hair, and I closed my eyes at the feel of it, the comfort of it. I opened my mouth to her skin, giving my freckle a long, loving kiss. I pulled back, holding her still before she could shift any closer. She was a vision, just stunning. I noted a few changes, but knowing my sisters and my mother the way I did, I could see that they'd prepared Bella for her change. All of us were changed on a whim or in an emergency, so haircuts and shaving and manicures were difficult when it was all said and done. They'd wanted to save her the trouble._

 _Shaking my head, I met her gaze. "You're beautiful."_

" _You're kinda cute yourself, baby." It was a teasing tone that came from her. She was aware of how humans saw me, that looks were just on the surface, that our beauty and grace were a lure to bring them in. It was Bella's way of telling me that she loved me for more than just the outside._

 _Pulling her a bit closer, I pressed a kiss over her heart, where it was pounding. It wasn't a nervous beat but the same tempo she had when she was turned on, when she wanted to kiss me. And I gave her what she wanted. With her standing while I sat on the edge of the bed, she had control. Warm hands pulled my face, and her hair created a curtain around us. Her scent increased ten-fold once my hands started to touch, caress, tease._

 _Our kiss was slow, languid, and so good. It was deep, and slowly, I started to relax. Bella was setting the pace, and once my fingers trailed up her thighs and around to her bottom, I finally pulled her to my lap. She hummed in approval, reaching for the bottom of the T-shirt I was wearing, and we pulled apart long enough for her to pull it up and off me, only to fall right back into the rhythm of our kiss._

 _Bodies started to shift and roll, and nothing about the cotton pants I was wearing could hide what she did to me, not that I hid it from her anymore. She loved that she caused that reaction from me. She said it made her feel beautiful and powerful that she was the only one in over a hundred years who could do that. I smiled into the kiss, my hands squeezing and teasing her bottom, slipping through her folds from the back. I rolled us, placing her gently on the bed and looming over her. Her change was temporarily forgotten as smiles were shared, as she giggled when she used her feet to push my pants down to the foot of the bed where I immediately kicked out of them. The personal and private language we'd started a few years ago in her bedroom was now even easier. We were fluent in it._

" _Please, Edward…"_

 _My fingers teased and tested her pussy, and she writhed with my touch._

" _Please, what?" I asked, knowing she'd let out the moan I lived to hear from her._

" _Unngh," she growled, her head falling back as I licked slowly around each nipple, my fingers never stopping, always working, but I knew what she wanted._

 _I worked my way down her torso, giving that small scar just above her navel a brief kiss. Closing my eyes, I inhaled the smooth, warm skin from hipbone to hipbone, finally nuzzling her mound with my nose. Opening my eyes, I gave a small, teasing lick, letting the tip of my tongue just barely touch her clit, because the reaction was instantaneous._

" _Fuck!" she hissed, her legs falling open even farther and her hands reaching for something, anything. I gave her mine, linking our fingers together, and her free hand twisted into the covers of the bed._

 _I hummed at her cursing, because for some reason, I loved it. She never said anything harsher than "damn," so to hear it now, hear it when I caused it made me crazy for her. Careful as always of my teeth, I leaned in and tasted Bella from the source. It was such a pure flavor, so much more than her skin, but not as potent as her blood. This flavor was better, though, because it was all for me. I'd caused it. She was dripping wet because she wanted me, this, all of it._

 _It never took long. She came so fast that way, and I had to pull back when she did, because her body was a livewire as her orgasm took her over – toes curled, fingers gripped, and hips rose up off the bed. My lips pressed to the inside of her thigh, and I found the second place I'd mark her, but instead, I sucked at her skin until a love bite remained._

 _Our fingers were still entwined, and she gave my hand a squeeze, pulling me up her body. I braced our hands by her head, dropping my forehead to hers. Her hazy eyes opened up to mine, and I brushed light kisses across her lips._

" _You taste delicious when you come on me, Bella," I told her, my lips pushing the words out against her mouth, her chin, and down to her neck, where I buried my kisses just below her ear._

 _I purred in want of her when her hand slipped up my side and around to my ass, pulling me in, gripping me to show me she wanted me inside. I let go of her hand, because even after making love for a few years now, it was still too overwhelming. I'd break her hand. Lining up with her entrance, I barely slipped inside, nuzzling her nose with mine and waiting for her eyes to open._

 _When dark, heated brown opened to meet my gaze, I slid slowly all the way in. I lived to watch them darken to almost black and then roll back as she lost herself to the feel of us becoming one._

" _Yes," I growled, dropping my head to her shoulder. "God, Bella…you feel so good."_

 _Warmth and wetness surrounded me. Her heartbeat was every-damn-where. It beat heavily like it was my own. Her fingers gripped and grappled for a hold on me once I started to move, but my own stayed firmly planted on the mattress._

 _Her legs wrapped high around my waist, hands slipping into my hair. "Uh…there, Edward…"_

 _A half-smile lifted my mouth as I made sure to hit the spot she wanted. Over and over, I rolled my hips, mesmerized as she lost control. Her orgasm seemed to surprise her, but her head fell back to the pillows. Her neck stretched, and I couldn't resist it as I pressed my mouth to her pounding pulse that fluttered beneath her skin._

 _I rode out her spasms and her warmth, her clenching pussy triggered my own loss of control. Burying myself to the hilt, I growled as I came. I was about to move off her, when her arms and legs locked down around me. I held her close, allowing a bit of my weight on her. And her kisses to my neck and shoulder soon met my ear._

" _Now, baby. Edward, do it."_

 _My face was too close to her throat, my need still evident and hard inside her, but her plea was impossible to ignore. I reached for the nightstand at the same time I could smell myself and her arousal on her neck. Exposing my teeth near her for the first time in over three years, I bit down._

 _Her gasp and grip was harsh in the quiet room. But the flood of her sweet, potent blood hit the back of my throat. For a split second, the monster reared up his ugly head, reveling in the flavor of her. But my name left her sweet lips at the same time I could smell her, feel her around me._

" _Edward, don't leave me…"_

 _If any words in the English language could've gotten the monster to settle down, it was those four pleading words. I'd never leave my Bella again. With all the internal strength I could muster, I pulled back, turning to spit the remainder of her blood out of my mouth. With a nervous and shaky hand, I plunged the syringe with my venom into her heart._

" _I've got you, love," I whispered, pulling out of her, my arousal no longer hard and ready. This was no turn on for me. "I know it hurts, but I'm here. I'm right here, and I'm not going anywhere."_

 _Her body arced up when the venom started to work, and I cringed at the pain etching across her face. I quickly got out of bed, pulling my pants back on and grabbing the other syringe._

" _Carlisle!" I called over my shoulder as I administered the morphine straight into her arm._

 _He was there in an instant, as was Esme. She and I covered Bella, as my father did an assessment of her. Esme's mind was full of cleaning her up and changing her bedding, but Bella wasn't making a peep._

" _Did… She's so quiet, Carlisle. Did I…" I fell to my knees beside the bed, whispering my love and promises against her hand._

 _My father's calm, patient gaze turned to me, but a smile played on his face. "Listen to her heart, Edward. Hear it? It's strong, so focus on that sound."_

 **~oOo~**

"That was three very long days," I sighed, smiling at Bella's giggle, but I turned her head a little to eye my mark on her again. "I could've—"

"But you didn't," she countered before I could finish, kissing my lips. "I'm here. We're perfect."

"You've always been perfect, Bella," I told her, grinning when she laughed at me, which essentially meant she thought I was full of shit. "Perfect for me, love," I amended, and that stopped her laughter cold.

"I love you, Edward," she stated out of the blue, tilting her head a little. She raked her fingers through my hair as I echoed my love back. "I'm glad you did it the way you did. I wanted to have you, us…that way as my last human memory." She nodded once, but she pushed her shield up just enough to show that all of us – every last member of the family – had horrific or sad memories before their change. Bella didn't want that. She wanted her memory to be of us – of the very reason behind the pain she was about to endure. "I have no regrets, Edward."

For a brief moment, she left that shield up, showing me every memory she had of me. From her first day at Forks High, to our meadow, to our first kiss, to even Italy where I'd become a new man, and finally making love the first time. She showed me standing up to Charlie when we decided to get married, and my endless smile the day of our wedding. All of it was ours, and to her, perfect. She wouldn't change a bit of it.

I found myself kissing her, and with her immortality, I could be rougher, more commanding, so I gripped her hair in my hand to ravish her, claim her. If I wasn't careful, though, we'd lose ourselves right there underneath that tree. So with a few sweeps of my lips over hers, I pulled back.

Her warm, gold gaze was a touch darker, and I smiled at how easy it was to just let go with her. It would not be the first time I claimed my mate out in the middle of the woods. I was debating stripping her bare when she brought me back to the real world.

"Alice says it's almost time for us to join the family."

I nodded; I'd seen the vision of Bella in school with us again somewhere new, somewhere cloudy. "You say that like you're not sure, my Bella," I pointed out as I wrapped a dark curl around my finger.

She shrugged a shoulder, something that was nowhere near immortal; that was all human Bella that carried over from her change. "I was trusting you to make that call."

Sighing deeply, I wrapped my arms all the way around her and pressed my lips to hers. "We have _lifetimes_ to figure it out, Bella. We can try, or we can wait, but we can do whatever we want."

Her smile was soft, sweet. "Lifetimes," she repeated, and again her shield slipped a bit, and I heard her swirl the word over in her mind, along with the fact that it had been four years since Italy. She leaned in to kiss me once. "You're right, baby. One lifetime wouldn't be enough."

I kissed her thoroughly in agreement, but I could hear our phones ringing in our pockets. "Okay, let's go figure it out, love."

 **~ooo~Heaven~ooo~**

 **A/N… This is the very end. The first thing that Jenny wanted was Bella's change, specifically while making love. The other thing was how long did they wait, which was two years. I asked about Nessie, and it wasn't important, so I opted to go a different way. I've never written a vamp change that way. Angelward was out of necessity, and Masen Manor didn't show it. SO…I took it as a challenge, and she approved. ;)**

 **I hope you liked it. Like I said when I started this one, this fic was written simply for fun and lemons. ;)**

 **Until next time… Mooches, Deb ;)**


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